The Mad

Review by BigBadWolfBoy

Billy Zane is the Jesus of B-Movies. Sometimes he’ll appear in the midst of a low-budget thriller or splatterfest and, just like the kind and gentle Jesus from the majority of the Bible, the Almighty BeeZee will smile upon the film and imbue it with a spark of wit, or coolness, or whatever juicy tidbit he feels inclined to pull out of his Savior-for-hire bag of tricks. Other times, though, BeeZee will make like the “I’m here to punish sinners! Look, I’ve got a blazing sword!” Christ that we’re supposed to see whenever this world gets around to ending, and in those instances he can drag even the most well-intentioned flick down into the fiery pits of damnation. Also, I think Billy Zane can resurrect himself from the dead, but that’s just a theory I’m working on.

Anyway, Johnny Kalangis, director of the The Mad, can breathe easy because Billy Zane smiles kindly upon his 2007 zombie comedy, and while the Almighty BeeZee can’t completely salvage the film’s hit and miss script, he does help to make it likable, silly fun.

He plays Jason Hunt- Doctor. Father. Widower. Ex-New Wave Musician. He’s traveling with his new girlfriend Monica (Shauna MacDonald), his daughter Amy (Maggie Castle), and her stoner-ish boyfriend Blake (Evan Charles Flock).

The group finds itself pit-stopping in a small town, and end up in a diner where the stepfather-daughter team of Charlie (Rothaford Gray) and Steve (Jordan Madley) are unknowingly serving up burgers that have been infected with all sorts of evil. Seems the folks at Creekside Farm have been spiking their cattle’s water with generous helpings of growth hormones, and it isn’t long before rampaging mad-cow people are making like zombies and trying to chomp down on our heroes.

Will our heroes survive the onslaught? Will they become zombie chow? Will Billy Zane use the phrase “that is the soft heart of true warriorship” to describe a synthy new wave song as it plinks on the radio? I had fun finding out.

Look, The Mad has many, many problems. During the first ten minutes Kalangis attempts to shoot scenes at a fair that due to budgetary limitations isn’t really there, and so the shots are staged awkwardly and look ridiculous. People have what appear to be psychic flashes that are never explained or explored. The sheer goofiness of the script keeps it from having any weight at all; in fact the characters seem to meander their way to the end instead of having a clear dramatic objective. Characters die with little reaction from their loved ones (though Kalganis and co-scripters Kevin Hennelly and Christopher Warre Smets seem aware of this and occasionally have their characters comment on it), and a good portion of the jokes fall horribly, painfully flat.

But a good many work as well. I laughed. I laughed loudly at parts. I definitely laughed more than I groaned. I enjoyed the way most of the laughs came out of the comfortable banter between the characters rather than from comedic setpieces. But it’s comedy, and what makes me thump my leg and howl like the overgrown dog I am may make the next wolfboy wince. If you think it’s funny that our heroes try to dazzle the zombies by running amongst them handing out tshirts and baseball caps from the gift shop, then you might like this movie. If you think it’s funny when, after a meat patty jumps up from the floor and attaches itself to stoner dude Blake’s face, the Almighty BeeZee pours about a gallon of olive oil over the kid’s face and assures him that “It has healing properties!”, then you might like this movie.

If, like me, you have a soft spot in your blackened, shrivelled heart for 80’s new wave music, then this movie will probably make you smile. The music in the film, by Half Past Four, perfectly recreates that cheesy, wonderful sound, and the script pokes loving fun at the groups and styles from that era.

The acting is also surprisingly solid. I keep mentioning the Almighty BeeZee, but all of the leads deliver strong and likable performances.

In the end, The Mad is a short, goofy timewaster that I found more funny than not. Give it a try if you don’t mind getting silly every once in a while. Praise be to the Zane!

(Also William Forsythe is the Moses of B-Movies, Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson and Casper Van Dien are the terrible twosome of Peter and Paul, Michael Ironside is the John the Baptist of B-Movies, Powers Boothe is the Pontius Pilate, and Bruce Campbell is rapidly becoming the Judas Iscariot)