Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds/ Feast 3: The Happy Ending

Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds  (2008)/ Feast 3: The Happy Ending (2009): Reviewed by Bryan Schuessler

Director John Gulager followed up his incredible 2005 gorefest, Feast, (which I loved) with two lackluster, rushed, assembly-line productions, Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (2008) and Feast 3: The Happy Finish (2009). I am really amazed that Gulager directed all three films. Well, I revise that statement: I am amazed that Gulager directed Feast (2005) and its two sequels, which were two peas in a pod.

I went into these two sequels with an extremely open-mind, having heard from friends and c0-workers that these two films were direct-to-video sequels with small budgets that were really fun and gory. Some liked these films, but some thought the low-budget ruined the films. Bottom line: I had to see both of these films for myself!

I woke up early one morning and watched them back to back. I am really glad that I got them both viewed early and back to back, because I really don’t think I would have watched the 3rd Feast for a long time.

We have Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan to thank for writing Feast 2 and 3.

The budget was small, the effects were kind of cheap, and the film had zero light and made for a very difficult viewing. I could not see shit! There is nothing that irks me more than when a film goes cheap on the lighting and makes for a very difficult screening! The films had gore, blood, tons of boobs, and very disgusting scenes of bloody gore and gloppy messes of body parts and oozing fluids and goo. Even with all of that, I was not amused during the films, partly because the scenes of dialogue were dull and boring. There was too much down time from the violence and gore and it was filled with extremely cliche and unimaginative dialogue. I am sorry, but listening to Clu Gulager speak his dialogue was a high-point in the movie for me.

Honey Pie (Jenny Wade) is back in both Feast 2 and Feast 3, along with Bartender (Clu Gulager) for a continuation of the creatures running around and killing everyone is sight. The script is not as smart as the original and with far less talent and comedic personalities. Its really hard to review a film that is a sequel and not compare it to its predecessor.

Lets move on to the high points of both films- these films had lots of boobs and blood. There were some ridiculous scenes involving CGI and terrible shots using a bluescreen. I feel that if the bluescreen shots were used less and the lighting was better, so one could actually see what was going on in the film and not have to strain, I might have enjoyed the films far more. The ending for Feast 3 left me so angry that I wanted to take the dvd and reenact a scene from Tron, but it was not my dvd and I could not re-enact my scene. As always, I implore my readers to go out and rent these films and formulate your own opinions, but these two sequels were two films that I could have done without seeing…unless I was rip-roaring drunk sitting on a comfortable couch with a great big bowl of chicken wings and a plate of fried pickles.

One more thing, look out for the infamous baby scene in Feast 2. Obscene is the keyword for these sequels, but they just did not do it for me. Viewer beware. I loathed these films for various reasons that I am unable to write anymore. I probably will end up picking these films up so I own the trilogy (hopefully this does not turn into a SAW franchise or something!) and my view them again one day and see them in a different light, or any light at all!