Director(s) – James Cullen Bressack (Hate Crime), Shawn Burkett (Bludgeon), Eric Hollerbach (Damien Shadows PI), Christopher Leto (The Housewife Slasher), Dustin Mills (Easter Casket), and Shane Ryan (Amateur Porn Star Killer)
Starring – Eric Hollerbach, Olivia Blake (Rough Cut), and Jody Barton (Hate Crime)
Release Date – 2013
Rating – 4/5
I really enjoy watching anthology films. I remember many movie nights where I sat down and watched multiple anthologies in one night because I wanted to watch as many movies as possible and that was the easiest way. What else is an anthology but a series of small films wrapped inside one package?
With that being said, I really hate writing fucking reviews for them because for the most part they really are a series of shorts by different directors. It is a tedious task to make sure every segment gets the attention they deserve. However, I think I have finally figured out the best way to do so and this will determine that or not. So set back and let my words make love to your eye-vaginas!
**Spoiler Alert**The film offers 5 short tales held together by paranormal investigator Damien Shadows. After each tale Shadows educates the audience about the paranormal entity that each episode harbors. The first tale, Tag (Ryan), tells the story of two sisters and the line of what the fuck is really going on gets blurred after just a few minutes in to it. The second tale, Panty Raid (Burkett), follows a group of sorority girls who has a to deal with a pesky perv stealing their underwear. However, this is not your typical college guy trying to have a little fun. This guy is looking for a particular style of panties and will kill to get them.
The third tale, Unmimely Demise (Bressack), follows a man and his son as they battle an evil mime that has a score to settle. The man, who was once a mime, dressed up as a clown and fucked his wife. The fourth tale, My Aunt is Coming to Town (Leto), follows a young girl who has fallen for a young guy but she is harboring a dark secret. Every three months her “aunt” visits bringing with her a powerful bloodlust. The fourth and final tale, PlateFace (Mills), follows a young man who is trying to squeeze his way in with a widow but starts to have a deadly obsession with her daughter. **Spoiler Alert**
I have yet to see the first Theatre of the Deranged but I can almost bet that is not as awesome as this one was. This anthology was fun as fuck and I have no idea where to start when reviewing it so I will discuss each tale separately. The segments are tied together by host Damien Shadows who should really spread his wings and get his own damn movie. I looked around and discovered he has his own web-series but I think a film starring him would be awesome.
The first tale, Tag, was the worst segment of the bunch. This segment is no where on the same level as the other ones and really brought this movie down. The acting is hard to judge due to the fact that the viewer has to read subtitles. The story is weak and hard to follow. The other segments are fun and carefree while this one makes no sense…or I am an idiot and completely missed it. Finally, the special effects and on screen kills are no where to be found here. However, there is a nude lady covered in blood.
Panty Raid, the second tale, was the perfect example of simple fun. This segment showed that you don’t need a complex story or plot twists to have a good time. The acting is another one that is hard to judge by most of the cast. Most of the cast is having pillow fights or riding the “vampire slayer” instead of having real conversations with other characters. The only person that has to act instead of just having a good time is Scott Gillespie and he does a great job in his role. The story feels like Slumber Party Massacre meets Revenge of the Nerds which are two movies that should collide and the fact no one thought of this until now shows that a lot of thought went in to this one. Just like I said with Tag, this segment does skip on the special effects but offers up a small body count.
The third tale, Unmimely Demise, was my favorite of the film. I love stupid, off the wall horror films and this one is one of the craziest I have ever saw. Originality and chaos runs wild in this segment making one hell of a good time. The acting is not the best I have seen in an indie film but it is far from the worst. The story is original and fun like I said earlier. This is another shining example of how simple and silly can make one hell of a film. This film offers up a lot of original and funny kills but no real special effects. Oddly enough, that actually works on behalf of the story only making it stronger.
My Aunt is Coming to Town, the fourth tale, is another weak segment but is levels above Tag. The film just feels longer than what it should be and the sections that are entertaining are over way too quick. The acting is by far the best in the film and above most indie films. Both leads did an amazing job portraying their characters and made them very believable. The story is original but is delivered on film all wrong. The entire anthology is filled with fun and quick witted horror films while this one begins as a romantic short before becoming the bloodiest segment on the film. Sadly, the last section is the only part really entertaining. The entire segment should have been like that or edited to be a lot shorter. Finally, this one has some of the best, and bloodiest, special effects of the entire film. I would have loved to see more of that through out this entire section.
PlateFace, the final actual segment, is bar far the most beautifully filmed segment of any film I have seen. Period. The camera work and angles, when applied to the black and white footage, made this section nothing short of a work of art. Even though the cast did not converse with one another there is still a great amount of acting by the cast. They had to be dramatic in their movements to convey their actions reminiscent of films from the silent era. The story is something told before but in a new light. It was fun and entertaining to watch unfold on film. Finally, just like the other segments, no real special effects or kills were offered in this one.
Overall, this anthology is fun as hell and offers up some originality covered in blood. Watch this movie or die an excruciating death!
PlateFace is the most beautifully filmed segment of ANY movie EVER MADE? All the great artists throughout time who have made films haven’t made one that looks as good as PlateFace? I’m smelling some bullshit.