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Age of Dinosaurs (Review)

aodposterDirector – Joseph J. Lawson (Nazis at the Center of the Earth)
Starring – Treat Williams (Dead Heat, Attack of the 50ft Cheerleader), Ronny Cox (Dexter, Godzilla: The Series), and Jillian Rose Reed (L.A. Vampire, My Super Psycho Sweet 16: Part 3)
Release Date – 2013
Rating – 2/5

Tagline – “Back from extinction”

Sometimes I just like to get away from it all and watch a cheap, mediocre flick that has no plot and requires no thinking.  The best films for this are what I call “Wal-Mart horror.”  I have called other films that in previous reviews but never fully explained why I call them that.

Wal-Mart horror is those films you have never heard about until you are killing time in the movie section and find them for around $10.  Sometimes you come across those Sy-Fy channel specials that are made by The Asylum.  The Asylum is notorious among movie goers as being cheap, filled with horrible CGI, and usually a mockbuster of Hollywood blockbusters.

I turned on my Xbox to browse through my instant queue on Netflix when I remembered I added this film a few days earlier.  I decided this would be the perfect film to watch due to the mood I was in.

**Spoiler Alert**The film revolves around a biotech firm that uses flesh regeneration to bring back prehistoric creatures.  The firm holds an open house with various investors and the press to show of their valuable dinosaurs.  Unfortunately, the beasts escape and are now running wild in the building.

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A former firefighter (Williams) rushes to save his daughter (Reed) before she becomes a dino-turd.  Before long the dinosaurs break out of the building and run a muck in downtown Los Angeles.**Spoiler Alert**

Before I go any further I want to confess that I kinda like some of The Asylum’s films.  I thoroughly enjoyed Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies and most of their other films are good to watch at least once.  However, this flick here is by far the worst one I had seen yet.  Right from the start the viewer can definitely see this film was influenced, if not down right copied, from the classic Jurassic Park.  I think it is safe to say this film is a direct mockbuster of Jurassic Park and The Lost World: Jurassic Park II.

The acting is bad even when compared to the worst Sy-Fy originals.  Even Treat himself gives one of the worst performances out of all the films of his I have seen.  I am a huge fan of Dead Heat and when compared to this one I can’t help but get the feeling that he just showed up on set with the desire to get it done and over with.  In regards to the story it is like I said earlier.  The film is a mash-up of Jurassic Park and The Lost World: Jurassic Park II.  If you like both of those films then avoid this one because it will only piss you off.  It is unoriginal and poorly filmed.

Finally, the special effects are shitty.  Horrible CGI runs rampant in this film but that was expected when dealing with The Asylum.  The dinosaurs look like cartoon characters and in some scenes you can actually see the wall behind them.  You figure they would eventually fire the ones behind the bad CGI and hire someone that knows what they are doing.  Overall, this is a horrible film that offers nothing but an aging Treat Williams.  Avoid it like you do your wife when she busts out the box of tampons!

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Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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