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Argento’s Dracula (Review)

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Director – Dario Argento (Deep Red, Suspiria)
Starring – Thomas Kretschmann (Hostel Part III, Cars 2), Marta Gastini (Evil Things, The Rite), and Rutger Hauer (Hobo with a Shotgun, True Blood)
Release Date – 2013
Rating – 3/5

When I was a teenager I started seriously getting into horror.  It was this time that I started to truly discover the masters of the genre.  I quickly became a fan of Joe Dante, John Carpenter, John Landis (even his comedies), and my favorite director of all time, George A. Romero.  Being the fan of Romero I am I started collecting all his films including the anthology flick Two Evil Eyes.

Two Evil Eyes features two stories with one being directed by Romero and the other by Italian director Dario Argento.  This was my first experience with Argento and I was extremely impressed with his contribution to Two Evil Eyes.  Me and a friend looked around and found a copy of Suspiria and Deep Red.  Sadly, I was not really a fan of either of those films at that time.  However, Suspiria did grow on me over the years.  

Anyway, sometime ago I came across news that Argento himself would be making his own rendition of a classic horror tale.  Argento’s Dracula is a film that I have waited for what feels like ages to see.  Hell, I waited so long to see it that I forgot that it was being released…and it passed me by.

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**Spoiler Alert**Everyone and their mother knows the story of Dracula. However, Argento’s take is a little different.  The film starts out with a young, succulent female falling prey to Dracula who stalked her while transformed into an owl.  We then move forward and librarian Jonathan Harker is traveling to Count Dracula’s (Kretschman) castle.  He goes there with intentions to work for the count but finds himself on the bloody end of his fangs.

Dracula then sets his sights on Harker’s beautiful wife Mina (Gastini) who is the mirror image of the wife he lost hundreds of years ago.  Some time goes by and Mina starts to worry about her husband.  She visits the castle and Dracula put her under his spell and bites her best friend Lucy Kisslinger (Asia Argento).  When other strange occurrences happen around her village, Mina contacts Abraham Van Helsing (Hauer) to search for her husband and battle the evil at Castle Dracula.**Spoiler Alert**

Now, before I go any further I just want to say that I may not be able to say that Argento is my favorite director but I can say I have a hell of a lot of respect for the man.  His films have inspired an entire sub-genre and are held in the highest regards among horror fans.  However, not all his films tickle my fancy.  With that being said, I had a lot of fun with his rendition of Dracula even though the film was severely flawed.  The film itself almost felt like a parody but knowing Argento and his views on films I can safely it was not.

The acting in this one is hit or miss.  Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, and Rutger Hauer are the main attractions but sadly their performances fall short.  Kretschmann is easily the worst Dracula I have witnessed.  He lacks the elegance that Lugosi’s had and the menacing and grotesque attacks that we see with Oldman’s Dracula.  He just does not feel like Dracula but this is just my opinion.  Marta Gastini also lacked the conviction and passion to make Mina believable.  Mina is more or less the center of the story but her character was very weak making it difficult to really care for her.  Now, my biggest grip is Rutger Hauer’s performance.  I absolutely loved him in Hobo with a Shotgun.  He made that role his own but for some reason he does not play a convincing Van Helsing.  I expected a little more from him and was really let down.  The rest of the cast actually did a great job which made me wonder what the film would be like if the cast would had been reversed.

The story is something we have all seen before but with some minor changes.  These minor changes do not take away from the overall story but it sure has pissed a lot of fans of the original Dracula and book off.  If you are open to it then you will enjoy yourself.  Finally, the film is filled to the brim with special effects of different kinds. The first I want to address is the horrible CGI and visual effects.  Though this film was released just recently the visual effects look as if they were made in the early 90s…which is bad.  However, the film does have a few impressive practical effects that really surprised me after hitting me with the shitty CGI.  Overall, Argento’s Dracula is a fun film that does teeter on the line of being bad.  If you don’t expect much from it you will find yourself surprisingly enjoying yourself.  Give it a chance and keep an open mind.

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Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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