Director – Lloyd Kaufman (The Toxic Avenger, Terror Firmer)
Starring – Asta Paredes (The Secret Life of Walter Smitty), Catherine Corcoran (The Lovely Bones), and Vito Trigo (Science Team)
Release Date – 2013
Rating – 4/5
Tagline – “Readin…writin…radiation…again!”
Troma is a name that everyone in the horror and indie community knows and loves. Their films may not have big budgets and amazing talent but fuck are they entertaining. Troma made a huge stamp on the horror scene when they released the radioactive comedy The Toxic Avenger that was directed by Troma founder Lloyd Kaufman. The film is hands down the most popular in the Troma catalog and that is for a good reason.
However, I personally enjoy the often overshadowed Troma classic Class of Nuke ‘Em High. Don’t get me wrong, I really like Toxie but CoNEH is hands down my favorite Troma film. Several years back I heard rumors and speculations on various horror sites that ol’ Uncle Lloyd was working on a fourth film in the Nuke ‘Em High series. I, of course, jumped for joy but it would be years before solid evidence would surface. I waited paitently and when the chance showed it’s head I reached out to Troma who was nice enough to hook me up with a screener and for that I thank you so much!
**Spoiler Alert**Return to Nuke ‘Em High once again takes us back to the nuclear capital of the world, Tromaville. It has been twenty years since the events that unfolded in Class of Nuke ‘Em High: The Good, The Bad, and the Subhumanoid and a a food processing plant of some kind has been placed in the rubble of the former nuclear power plant. This food plant provides Tromaville High School with their lunches which backfires in true Troma style.
Shit then hits the fan when the glee club is turned into a gang of mutants known as The Cretins. The Cretins go on a bloody rampage killing and maiming everything in Tromaville forcing two lesbian lovers, Chrissy (Paredes) and Lauren (Corcoran), to use their mutant dicks and tit milk to stop The Cretins from destroying everything they love. **Spoiler Alert**
Lloyd Kaufman and Troma knows sex, blood, and violence sells and that is why they cram so much of it into their movies. When I get ready to watch a Troma film I can expect to see beautiful women that are afraid to wear clothes, buckets of blood and gore, and several violent act that most people would never consider putting in their films. That is one of the many reasons I love the original film so much but Lloyd had to up the ante and he does just that making this film a worthy sequel to the original.
The acting in this one is hit or miss among the cast. The actors that portrays The Cretins did a great job in their dual roles. They are very convincing nerds and even more convincing anarchists. Also, Asta Paredes and Catherine Corcoran did an amazing job…and they are hot as hell. Watching Paredes flicking her bean is life changing and one of the film’s many rewind moments. Sadly, some of the other cast members made their scenes awkward to watch resulting in the viewer not fully appreciating the gag Kaufman was trying to pull off. The story is not really new especially when dealing with this series.
The story is the same told in the original but with more modern pop culture references strung throughout. In fact, I have spoke with other Nuke ‘Em High fans that believe this to be a remake.
Finally, the film has more blood, gore, slime, and goo than any one film should. The on screen kills and deaths are great and the special effects are even better. Overall, Return to Nuke ‘Em High is the bloody, and sexy, return of Lloyd Kaufman and Troma to the films many of us grew up loving. This film needs to be seen by any Troma fan and any fan of great horror. Check it out!
