I posted the press release for Scream Machine a few weeks ago, so I was well aware of its existence before I received my screener last week. I didn’t know if it would fit my taste in movies, personally, but seeing how it features an appearance from living legend Lloyd Kaufman, I figured it was worth a short. Having viewed it in full, I think this is going to be a case of respecting the creators but not liking the product.
Scream Machine is written and directed by Scarlet Fry with Paul C. Hemmes. The duo also star in this feature alongside cast members including Lloyd Kaufman (The Toxic Avenger), David C. Hayes (Dark Places), Sandra E. Williams, Kim Wagner, Tom Szczepanski, Stephen Kessen and Tara Carlton.
Scream Machine is broken into five segments or five short films that are basically horror hosted by a guy who looks like the dude from the “Mad TV Spy vs. Spy” cartoons and a severed head on a plate wearing an eye patch. While I was quick to salute the movie for inventing a new horror hosting group – a favorite past time of mine – the lighting was horrible, the dialogue didn’t seem to match up right, and none of the hosts ever moved from one spot. So, that was kind of a waste, but here’s a few notes on the five segments.
#1 Sledgehammer – This segment was riddled with production errors, from audio levels of varying quality to cameramen being visible in the actors’ sunglasses. Not to mention the “young baseball player” who’s just getting into college and looks to be age 35 or older. Just not believable in any sort of way. Still, this was actually my favorite segment out of the bunch. I liked the slasher/revenge feel of it and, if you ask me, the producers should have foregone the anthology and made Sledgehammer a feature! Final Score: 6 out of 10
#2 Cannibal Pen Pals: The Dahmer Obsession – This segment is at least partially inspired by true events. I know that Dahmer and Gacy had a lot of pen pals and wannabe lovers while they were in prison. As with Sledgehammer, this would have been great as a feature film, but instead the creators turned it into a poorly executed short film with all the same production problems as the first segment. And, while I could have nagged on the lack of realism in relation to the 90s here, Cannibal Pen Pals has a pretty X rated moment that makes up for that. Final Score: 5 out of 10
#3 April Fool’s Party – What was the point of this? Seriously… Just a lot of drug addicts doing drugs, walking around, and talking. The special effects were also extremely inconsistent. A big waste of time here. Final Score 2 out of 10
#4 Septic Shock – I sort of liked Septic Shock because it felt like someone was telling an urban legend more than anything else. It certainly fits the criteria. A woman and her lover kill her husband and dumb him in the septic tank. Several days later all the piping gets backed up and his remains start spilling into the house. It was a pretty cool idea, I’ll give them props for that, but that’s basically all I can do with this one. Final Score: 4 out of 10
#5 Drive In – Well, at least the food looks good! We all love the idea of a drive in theater, but that wasn’t enough to keep me interested for the last segment. As with April Fool’s Party, I don’t know why this one was even included. This one could have been cut out of the anthology, too, and used to devote more time and resourced to the other three segments that are the better parts of an overall lackluster horror flick. Final Score: 3 out of 10
As you can see, my biggest gripe with Scream Machine is that it truly had the right idea at least part of the time, but then it dropped the ball! I think the creators maybe got a little too carried away with the idea of a five piece horror anthology and didn’t take the time to map out all the comments correctly during pre-production. Segments #1, #2, and #4 showed promise, but segments #3 and #5 really dragged the whole movie down. Let me not forget the rampant production errors that were abundant throughout the movie. Normally, I could overlook an error or two, but seeing how they happen throughout the entire movie which was shot on separate occasions… I can’t overlook the problems that were not corrected after the first segment was filmed.
While I’m thankful for having received a screener and I respect the writers, director, producers and actors for what they tried to accomplish… This just was not good… OVERALL SCORE: 4 out of 10
