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Cannibal Claus (Review)

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Director – Sean Donohue (Death-Scort Service)
Starring – Bob Glazier (Slasher Weekend), Alberto Giovannelli (The Carnage Collection), and Mady Giovannelli
Release Date – 2016
Rating – 3/5

Tagline  “You’re only as good as you taste”

I absolutely love Halloween and anything associated with it.  The candy, the costumes, the decorations, and of course all the horror movies. I would be lying if I said Halloween is my favorite holiday because it isn’t.  Christmas is by far my favorite holiday.  As soon as it hits December I turn into Clark Griswold.  I string up lights, blow molds, inflatables, and so on to the point it looks like Target’s holiday section exploded in my yard.  I just love Christmas.  Well, I love Xmas since I’m not religious.  Anyway, I love Christmas and I love Christmas horror.  Sadly, we don’t get a lot of new Christmas themed horror films.

A few years back saw the release of Caesar and Otto’s Deadly Xmas and last year saw Dismembering Christmas.  With the exception of the unwatchable Krampus films we hardly get Christmas horror.  Cue in Sean Donohue and his new film Cannibal Claus.  This Bob Glazier led flick was one we were surprised with when Sean announced its completion with little to no announcement that he was actually making the film.  When the film was completed Sean reached out to me with a review copy.  Once again, thank you Sean for allowing Horror Society and myself the opportunity to see your new film.

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**Spoiler Alert**The film follows mall Santa Nick Cringle (Glazier) who is let go from his job after five years of service.  He does not take the news very well and breaks down on his former employer before leaving.  Nick is now a changed man.  His dark past has come back to haunt him and the torment of his youth gets the best of him which sends him on a killing spree.  He starts breaking into homes where he kills and rapes, usually in that order, before cutting up the bodies into small pieces to place in his fridge or to cook while making his way through his own naughty list.**Spoiler Alert**

I really enjoy these Gatorblade Films and Sleaze Box collaborations.  When these two come together you know you are about to watch a movie full of sex, debauchery, and bloodshed.  Death-Scort Service set the pace and Chaos A.D. raised the bar.  Where would Cannibal Claus land in the middle of all the carnage?

The acting for this one is solid.  Bob Glazier is one hell of an actor.  He looks like your stereotypical grandfather.  You can tell deep down he is a loving man who holds his friends and family in high regards but when the camera starts rolling he is a different beast altogether.  In almost every film I have seen him in where he plays a killer or a maniac he winds up making my skin crawl.  He is a true psycho when the camera is rolling.

Another performance that I really enjoyed was from Alberto Giovannelli.  I am unfamiliar with this young man but his character was funny in a sense but creepy as hell.  His laugh scene made me belly laugh but it was still creepy to watch.  His scenes, which are done in flashback segments, also included Mady and Lucio Giovannelli who I assume is his family.  They all did great and made the scenes even more creepier.  Now, on to the ladies of Cannibal Claus.  I don’t know what they put in the water in Florida but they know how to make beautiful women.  We see several familiar faces like Krystal Adams, Cayt Feinics, Ashley Caputo, Paula Tsurara, and one of my new favorites Racheal Shaw.   They are all sexy, provocative, and know how to steal a scene.

The story for this one is one we have seen before but not that many times.  Killer Santa flicks are what we usually get for Halloween horror but we never get cannibal Santa flicks.  This was fun but some of the scenes were just a little too long or tried the viewer’s patience.  A little trimming would have went a long way.

Finally, the film has tons of blood and gore.  In fact, the film is just as gory as Death-Scort Service which was fucking fantastic.  The effects in this one is great which is something to expect coming from Gatorblade and Sleaze Box.  When it comes to indie horror they have been raising the bar when it comes to gore.  The kills are weak for the most part but, big but, the enjoyment comes from the dismemberment.  The effects are great and work well with these scenes.

Overall, Cannibal Claus is another fucking disgusting piece of raunchy cinema…and I fucking love it.  The women are dangerous and Bob Glazier is a beast on camera.  The story does need the fat trimmed but no movie is perfect.  If you want a movie to build the muscles in your right arm then look no further.  Check it out.

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Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.