East African Newspaper Doubts Humanity’s Intelligence: Touts, “U.S. Government Has Captured 7 Mermaids.”

mermaidWhat is it with mermaid mania lately? First, Animal Planet releases a compelling – yet completely fake – documentary about mermaids titled Mermaids: The Body Found. Then, a movie studio announces it will be producing a live action version of The Little Mermaid. Whatever the case may be, mermaids have seen a sudden influx in popularity just within the past year. And now, a Kenyan newspaper is claiming the existence of mermaids as fact. Not only that, but another was recently discovered and the United States government is in possession of seven of the elusive, half human/ half fish creature. I know, the story is silly and I obviously don’t believe it for a second. However, for your personal amusement, I have lifted the entire article and provided it for you below.

“The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) reportedly confirmed that mermaids exist and that they are growing in numbers.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reportedly published a post on their “Ocean Facts” newsfeed titled “Conclusive Evidence of  the Existence of Aquatic Humanoids.”

The agency went on to say that “magic females”, who first appeared in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans began to sail the seas, do exist and are living in all the oceans of the world.

Animal Planet television recently aired a special called “Mermaids: The Body Found,” that also proved the existence of mermaids.

National Ocean Service spokeswoman Sandy Nixon told WWN that “at least 65 mermaid researchers and experts gathered on the island of Tahiti to examine all the known evidence and have concluded, emphatically, that  half human half-fish hybrids are living peacefully among us.

Mermaid experts say that the majority of mermaids are in the warmer waters of the Caribbean and the Mediterranean, but that many have been spotted in the Pacific Ocean and Southern Atlantic.  ”There is a large school of mermaids, swimming just outside Ocean City Maryland,” said mermaidologist, Marcus Plumkin, of the University of Florida.

WWN has also learned that recently the U.S. government has captured 7 mermaids and that they are being kept at an undisclosed aquarium, where they are being studied.  President Obama has personally met the mermaids and was quite impressed – according to reports.

So, if you’re at the beach… keep a lookout for mermaids.  They are out there!

Written by Michael Therkelsen

(Senior Editor)