Director – Joseph F. Robertson (Autie Lee’s Meat Pies)
Starring – Kandi Barbour (Blowing Your Mind), Jenny Baxter (The Ganja Express), and Rene Bond (Disco Lady)
Release Date – 1983
Rating – 1/5
Tagline – “They’ll melt your inhibitions”
When I first started writing reviews my goal was to watch films people no longer think about and had faded from memory over time. I wanted to stay in the horror, thriller, exploitation, sci-fi genres but I have ventured off this path several times because my curiosity got the best of me.
This path has lead me down the sexploitation road a time or two but no matter how many times I check these films out I am never fully prepared for what I am about to see. Sometime ago Impulse Pictures, Synapse Films sister company, sent me several erotic flicks to check out. This really, and I mean really, pissed my wife off.
She demanded they be removed from the house but I can’t give away or destroy something that was given to me so I hid them until I could check them out when I was alone for fear of losing my nethers. This came about when she left town to visit her family in another state. While she was gone I had one of the sleaziest triple features I have ever had. The first film on the chopping block was Impulse’s Snow Honeys.
**Spoiler Alert**The film follows Ken and Kara as they make their way to a cabin after skiing. They are bitching that they only get paid $10 to shoot the film and laugh it off. They then start introducing sex scenes from various scenarios ranging from men coming back from a business trip and crave some flesh to a parody of Superman where Superman is beeped out every time it is said. After each segment we follow our hosts to their cabin where they undress and fully fuck.**Spoiler Alert**
It’s weird watching a sexploitation, porn, or erotic film from the 70s and 80s when you grew up during the internet porn revolution. Just seeing the styles, culture, and the way they are shot is unlike anything those that grew up in the 90s saw unless their father had some old stag flicks in the closet. Snow Honeys is unlike any other porn I had seen but instead it is an anthology flick. I had never seen a porn that had a wrap around segment that actually tied them all together. Most porn flicks that I have seen were just random scenes and that was it.
The acting in this is porn fabulous and anyone that has seen a real life fuck flick knows exactly what the fuck I am talking about. The acting is cheesy, cliched, and awkward to watch. Lucky for us the sex stops the cast from acting.
The story for these segments are non-existent with the only ones standing out being the unofficial Superman parodies. These were comical but a bit of a nuisance to watch with all the beeping. Sadly, this was before porn had fun, campy stories and the fucking was the focal point of the films.
Finally, this is a fuck flick and not a horror flick so it had no death scenes. However, the sex scenes are wide open and those sleazy fans out there will definitely enjoy this one. Overall, Snow Honeys is a porn film of it’s time. The film does not offer up much for story which is a bit of a let down for people like me who enjoy campy stories. Those of you looking for a sleazy flick with a story, like myself, are wasting your time. Those of you that like porn and want nothing but sex then toss this one in!
