Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans (Review)


Director – Jimmy Lee Combs (Beautiful Scar)
Starring – Andy Hankins (Popsy), Kevon Ward (Wash Park), and Katie Bevard (The Creep Behind the Camera)
Release Date – 2014
Rating – 4/5

Tagline – “This has been Hans approved”

It’s hard for me to watch a movie and not review it.  I have an opinion about everything I watch and I have a hard time sitting down to watch a movie and not take the time to review it. However, sometimes I come across a film that I absolutely have to watch.  These films are usually films that try to set themselves about from the other horror flicks by offering up fun characters that are not cliched and a story so absurd that  you have to watch it a second time just to make sure that it really happened.

One of those films is Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans.  I received a press release for this film several weeks back and was instantly obsessed with it.  I was soon sent a link to the online screener and that night I was in hixploitation heaven.


**Spoiler Alert**The film follows the host of a show called Horror Hunts as they follow around Hans Crippleton.  Hans is known around the U.S. for his contribution to haunted attractions during the Halloween season.  Hans lives with his family on a farm where the undead are a fairly common problem.  His family bond is thick and they have been known to keep it in the family.  The show then follows him as he discovers that his family is cursed and that is why their family farm is plagued with the undead.  They then try to break the curse when Hans becomes bit on his weak hand.**Spoiler Alert**

It’s hard to pull of a good horror comedy.  Most have a hard time creating something equal parts horror and comedy.  Evil Dead II offers up more horror than comedy while Shaun of the Dead offers up more comedy than horror.  I was curious how Hans Crippleton would go especially considering the film was set up as a mockumentary.  The film does go the comedy route but it still delivers on the entertainment.

The acting in this one is some of the greatest character acting I’ve seen in a low budget indie production.  The characters are all products of their actor and everyone is great in their role.  The film’s obvious star is Kevon Ward who portrays Hans.  This character was utterly amazing and has become one of my favorites to appear in indie horror to date.  I could see Hans in another film, cartoon, or even a comic.  The world needs more Hans.

The story for this one is rather unique but does have it’s own flaws. The film combines the zombie sub-genre with the mockumentary style films which has been several times before but none have combined the two with a hixploitation flick.  I thoroughly enjoyed the story following Hans and his family and could honestly have watched them longer than what we were given.  With that being said, the zombie angle did become a bit too much and felt like it was added in the second half of the film just to drag out the film’s running time.  I would have enjoyed the film a lot more if the zombies were removed from the story.

Finally, the film does have a few death scenes but they are nothing that memorable or enjoyable.  The film does have some decent practical effects for most of the film including props and body parts.  However, the zombies look pretty bad.  If The Dead Next Door can make decent looking zombies with no budget then I expect more from other no budget flicks.  Overall, Hans Crippleton is one fun film that deserves your time.  Hans is a character the indie community will not be forgetting anytime soon.  Check it out because I highly recommend it.


Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.