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Review: Daniel Allen & John Garcia’s Virgins Never Die (Nostalgic, Thrilling and Bloody)

“The virgin never dies.” It’s one of the original horror film rules, and one that defined the typical survival girl archetype of the 70’s and 80’s. While the rule is mostly ignored today, along with all the others, film-makers Daniel Allen and John B. Garcia have brought the theme back in a really interesting way. Virgins Never Die is a short slasher flick with a small dose of comedy and a big chuck of kick ass violence. What if slashers became a nationwide epidemic, so much so that an app – Masker Tracker – was available on smartphones and it could tell if you if there were any massacres in your area. What if you’re a wholesome young woman who uses the app to become the vigilante superhero that we need? Based on the screenplay by Allen and Garcia, Virgins Never Die follows Evelyn as she attends a party filled with colorful, obnoxious characters, only to run into an ex boyfriend. When the pair leave the party to talk about their issues, Evelyn is thrust into a world of predictable violence and an onslaught of gore that potentially ruins her night. Or is it just another day at the office? This seven and a half minute short film was filmed under Blow Up the Lab Productions and stars Siobhan McCourt, Lex Stultz, Fady Ghali, Ucal Shillingford and Michael Rawley.

Directors Daniel Allen and John B. Garcia made real movie magic with Virgins Never Die. I don’t think much of its content has been explored before, and I could see the idea being adapted into a feature length film in the future. Think of it as Behind the Mask meets La Femme Nikita meets Kick Ass. It’s a hyper-realized piece of cinema condensed into a seven minute mini-movie that expertly blends the themes and scores of the past with the technology and stunt choreography of the present. Nostalgic, bloody and thrilling! Yeah, that was probably my favorite thing about Virgins Never Die – that beat ’em up, drag ’em out killer vs final girl battle in the alley. Virgins Never Die has a massive appeal to most subgenre fans and fans of horror from almost every generation. It’s going to be The Beast (pun intended) if it makes a go at the film festival circuit, and I highly recommend this title to anyone who has the chance to see it. Even comedy fans can find something to like here, right next to the classic suspense, blood splatters and action. The comedy is downplayed, but it’s there, and I actually “loled” when I saw the killer even murdered the swan pool toy at the party. Sometimes subtly is key, folks.

Virgins Never Die is produced by John B. Garcia, Daumoun Khakpour and Travis Pulchinski and features cinematography from Zacharie Ready, editing from Brian Roth and fight choreography from Edward De Juan. Same as the content of the short, I have no complaints about this title from a production standpoint. I was surprised to find above average acting and camera work, especially for an independent horror short. I loved the villain, who reminded me of a more Satanic looking version of Victor Crowley, and the pacing of this short was perfect. Virgins Never Die is a sleeper hit this Halloween season. A glimpse into the past and yet potentially the next big thing, Virgins Never Die was an onslaught of terror and fun, and it’s bound to make you smile and howl with delight. Great job, cast and crew! Final Score: 10/10.

Watch it below!

Written by Michael Therkelsen

(Senior Editor)