in

Review: Stu Stone’s Scarecrows (Children of the Corn meets House of Wax)

Uncork’d Entertainment is one of the best horror film distributors in the game, and Scarecrows is one of best titles in their catalog. I generally like everything they put out, but Scarecrows is going to drive viewers crazy and give them a sweaty, scary, autumn experience during the winter months when the genre dies out. Yeah, I don’t know why this movie wasn’t released sooner, but I’m glad it’s here none the less. Written by Adam Rodness and Stu Stone, Scarecrows follows four friends hiking through a large forest in search of a beautiful lagoon to swim in. On their way back from the excursion, they decide to take a short cut through an ominous cornfield. As it turns out, the land owner hates trespassers and he decides to make them pay for trespassing with their lives. How? He turns them into living scarecrows, leaving them to rot and get pecked to pieces by crows in the cornfields. In the latest picture from Breakthrough Entertainment, there is no escape. Hannah Gordon, Mike Taylor, Umed Amin, Maaor Ziv, Jason J. Thomas and Derek Christoff star in Scarecrows; available on VOD December 11th 2018 and on DVD February 1st 2019.

I think I loved Scarecrows because… OK, I used to live in beach front property on the ocean. I cannot tell you how many times tourists would walk across my lawn or my sidewalk, despite the private property signs, because they were too lazy to use the public access point four houses over. Trust me, I thought about putting bear traps in the sand somehow to catch people who were trespassing; so I can kind of relate to the killer in Scarecrows. It’s almost a primal, animalistic theme and motive – protect one’s territory. Now, a previous press release for this film describes Scarecrows as Jeepers Creepers in nature, but since I don’t like pedophiles, I’m going to describe Scarecrows as Children of the Corn meets House of Wax. Alone and stalked through a creepy cornfield, and made into human artwork to be put on display. Again, why wasn’t this title put out for Halloween season? Maybe because the market was so saturated in October and Scarecrow truly deserves its moment to breathe. A beautiful farm and cornfield sets the stage for a brutal massacre. It’s gritty and gory with a slight 80’s vibe. Throw in sexuality, and a silly handjob, and Scarecrow plays by the horror film rules while also delivering an above average slasher.

I was OK with the kids getting murdered and nailed to farm furniture, and that’s coming from someone (me) who doesn’t enjoy torture porn. I think it’s both cheating the system and one of the scariest things that could possibly happen to a person. My reasoning for not rooting for the kids is because they never were that tight knit to begin with. When the story unfolds, they fall apart so quickly and are stereotypical Millenials. Plus, one of the guys talks crap about older muscle cars and that doesn’t fly with me. Leave classic cars alone! My favorite character, though, is the killer. Not because he was a great villain, but because he was…kind of sexy. Yeah, I said it. I’ll be shallow. Scarecrows is directed and produced by Stu Stone and produced by Adam Rodness. It has cinematography by Marc Forand and editing by Nick Montgomery. My only complaint – really, the only one – is there wasn’t as much scarecrow making as I expected. It is the film’s major selling point, and I feel it was just under the mark. Still, Scarecrows has great camera work, great acting, and great special effects. I think it’s going to be a sleeper hit and one of the most anticipated releases of this winter. Find it on VOD December 11th and on DVD February 1st.

Final Score: 8 out of 10.

Written by MGDSQUAN

(Senior Editor) MGDSQUAN