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Critters Attack (Review)

Director – Bobby Miller (That Movie Show, The Cleanse)
Starring – Tashiana Washington (Shaft, Straight Outta Compton), Dee Wallace (Cujo, The Howling), and Jaeden Noel (Rogue, Killjoys)
Release Date – 2019
Rating – 1/5

It took me years to finish a Critters movie. I had watched parts of the first film growing up but never actually got to watch the film all the way through. Several years back I bought the DVD set and was able to make my way through them. The franchise is like any other where the movies get worse as they go on. The first two are fantastic while the second two are rough.

Several months back a new web-series was release on Shudder and the overwhelming negative reviews forced me to avoid it but when news of a new film was released I had to check it out. Would it be better than the web-series and return with a fun horror flick? No, it would not.

**Spoiler Alert**The film takes place some years later with Aunt Dee (Wallace) keeping track of the Krites that crash on Earth when one just happens to do so. She packs her bags and goes to a small town to stop them. A young girl and her brother are asked to babysit a professor’s two children while she leaves town. What is supposed to be a normal evening turns dangerous when they find a white female Krite in the woods and the male Krites arrive to make a meal out of them. They have to fight for their lives and do a great job until Aunt Dee arrives to help them stop the Krites before they take over the world again.**Spoiler Alert**

I hate giving a movie sent to me a negative review. I always feel like an asshole but I keep my reviews honest. Critters Attack was not a fun movie. It was just a mess a movie that took me several days to actually finish it.

The acting in this one is extremely rough. The main cast was either inexperienced or lacked direction. The characters are extremely clichéd and so boring. The cast does very little to make their performances stand out which results in one of the most boring movie experiences I’ve seen in a long time.

The story for this one feels like it was intended to be a horror film for children and then was rushed into a Critters film at the last moment. I know the first film followed a young boy but this literally feels like it was something you could find on Nickelodeon around Halloween. With that being said, the movie is so boring. The movie has no action or excitement to hold the viewer’s attention. We get some scenes where the Krites are doing their thing but these were poorly approached and goofy as shit.

Finally, we do get some bloody scenes but they are quickly forgotten once we get the flying black mops being thrown across the screen with the cast grabbing it, pulling it to themselves, and then frantically trying to escape. The blood and Krites look great when sitting still but once moving they look goofy. Overall, Critters Attack is the weakest point in the Critters’ franchise. This movie is a huge waste of time.

Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.