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Cyborg Hookers (Review)

Director – Sal V. Miers (Bad Girls Behind Bars, Vixens from Venus)
Starring – Andrew Espinoza Long (Witchcraft 16: Hollywood Coven, Handlers), Jacqui Holland (Silent But Deadly, Sorority Party Massacre), and Ted Newsom (Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold, Witchouse II: Blood Coven)
Release Date – 2016
Rating – 1/5

After watching six Blaxploitation flicks back to back I decided to take a break from exploitation flicks and find something stupid and fun. It was Sunday so I wanted something a little sleazy from my Sleazy Sunday series. I immediately started looking at the movies I need to review for Vinegar Syndrome and Impulse Pictures when I remembered I had the perfect movie for this Sunday.

Sometime back I bought a box of movies from Fred Olen Ray for $50 that contained several of his Retro Media releases. One such film was the 2016 sci-fi comedy Cyborg Hookers originally released as Bikini Model Mayhem. I had to check that one out.

**Spoiler Alert** The film follows corrupt politician G. W. Bushwacker who has hired a scientist to create bikini model robots that he can use to seduce other politicians and ruin their reputations winning him an upcoming election. The robots work too well and they begin thinking on their own and Bushwacker finds himself next on their list.**Spoiler Alert**

I didn’t know what to expect from a film titled Cyborg Hookers but it was fairly mild considering the title paints a much bigger picture. The camp and the humor surprisingly worked for a softcore fair but the movie itself misses the mark.

The acting in this one is rough which is something considering I spend most of my time reviewing no budget backyard horror flicks. The cast is clearly there to cash in a paycheck with no effort at furthering their careers. They devote nothing to the characters and just spit out dialogue. However, the women are extremely gorgeous so there is at least that.

The story for this one is fun in a 60s sci-fi kind of way. I reviewed a movie from the 70s not long ago that had a similar story but I can’t remember the title at the moment. This film was far more effective at capturing that drive-in era mad scientist feel but still lacked genuine entertainment. The movie moved a snails pace and was difficult to follow.

Finally, those looking for blood and gore will be disappointed. However, if you want cheap CGI and nudity look no further! Overall, Cyborg Hookers was sleazy but wasn’t as fun as I was hoping for. It needs some work and a story that leans more to the science fiction side rather than the political aspect. Skip it.

Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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