Return to Spatter Farm (Review)

Jeremy has returned

Director(s) – Jeff Kirkendall (Halloween Horror Tales, The Green-Eyed Monster) and Mark Polonia (Bigfoot vs. Zombies, HalloweeNight)
Starring – Danielle Donahue (Survival Knife, Muckman), Nico Bryant, and Mel Heflin (Teacher Shortage, Steve: Death Collector)
Release Date – 2020
Rating – 2.5/5

Most of you that have followed my reviews for sometime know that I fucking love Wild Eye Releasing. I may not enjoy every one of their releases but they are bringing no budget horror films to the masses at a time when most would go unnoticed. I greatly admire what they are doing and I love getting in their releases for review. Several months back Wild Eye sent over the exclusive announcement that Mark Polonia was teaming up with Jeff Kirkendall to direct a follow up to Splatter Farm. I was fucking pumped about this news and couldn’t wait until I could check it out. A few weeks ago I got the follow up in for review and had to make time for it. Thanks Wild Eye for sending it over.

**Spoiler Alert** The film follows a young woman who has inherited a family farm. She decides to take some friends with her while she checks it out and spend a few days drinking. The locals have nicknamed the property Death Farm and many know about the farms tarnished history. They chalk it up to a thing of the past but soon that past comes back to haunt them when the murders start up again. **Spoiler Alert**

I was really looking forward to this one. The Polonia Brothers are acquired taste and not many horror fans can get into their films. Honestly, they are hit and miss with me but the ones I like I really like. It was sad that John is no longer with us to help his brother on this follow up to their 1987 S.O.V. classic but I was still extremely excited to check it out. Sadly, it just wasn’t as fun as the original. It did have it’s moments but it just couldn’t pull it together for me.

The acting in this one is my biggest complaint with the film. If you look through my reviews you will find a good portion of films from first time filmmakers with no budgets or experience. I’m not a reviewer that is watching no budget movies expecting the same caliber of performances you would see in a multi-million dollar production. However, sometimes I come across movies where the cast just completely misses their marks. The dialogue is forced and the interactions are not genuine. I know several people on the cast and know what they are capable of and this is not it.

The story for this one does serve as a great follow up to the original. It has been some time since the original film was released, 33 years as of writing this, which is a considerable amount of time for a sequel. The original borrowed heavily from hixploitation films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, yet, here we are again with a film that borrows from the franchise. Texas Chainsaw 3D follows a young girl who returns to her family farm after learning of her adoption. Adoption is replaced with inheritance here but the story still remains the same. I’m not knocking the story here because I really enjoyed it. If the characters were a little more memorable and the acting was better I could really see myself loving this one. TCM inspired or not, it works for a no budget film.

Finally, the kills in this one are not as fun as the first film. The first film is a S.O.V. classic with plenty of practical effects and carnage. This one delivers the body count but the effects and kills are nowhere near as fun as the first film. They work for the movie but don’t up the anti so to speak. Overall, Return to Splatter Farm has it’s moments but the acting just cuts this one short for me. The story may be very TCM inspired but it works for a sequel to the original film. It deserves at least one viewing but don’t expect to find a movie that will forever change your life.

Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.