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Know Who Killed Me

lindsay-lohan-i-know-who-killed-me-poster thumbnailIn Humble Praise of I Know Who Killed Me By Brian Kirst

When Adam Rockoff, author of Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film, proclaimed his support and appreciation for I Know who Killed Me at the Fangoria convention in January 2008 in IL, you could almost feel the confusion and regret in the room. When he asked if anyone else present had enjoyed the film, I was one of three who raised their hands. Yep, I have just outed myself as a confirmed lover of Lindsay Lohan’s (and some say horror’s) lowest moment. Gosh, that didn’t even sting. Yet –

lindsay-lohan-i-know-who-killed-me-2I Know Who Killed Me has been described as a cross between some low-budget direct-to- DVD sex-mystery and torture porn. This has been previously been considered a detriment – but that is precisely why I think this film is so great. Besides, it fills me with a strange joy to watch Lohan portray both a serious writing student (who can not write to save her life) and a beautiful, fully clothed stripper in a scum bar (yep, everyone else in the cast looks like they belong there – but not La’ Lohan). Soon Lohan’s characters (she plays twins – whoops, plot spoiler – forgive!) begin missing their limbs – one via a known serial torturer and one inexplicably (a twisted and delicious plot occurrence). In the movie’s bravo moment, one of the limbless Lindsay’s loudly seduces her awkward college boyfriend while mom scours kitchen counters, maniacally, below.

No, this is not a great film, but the wrongness of it– from college student Lindsay flirting with a shirtless construction worker to mommy Lindsay trying to woo her with an old stuffed pet – is wonderful. And despite any plot stumbling, Director Chris Sivertson always fills the screen with texture and color – red and blue are big here – and some kind souls may even claim that at points he reaches the richness of Douglas Sirk and Dario Argento. Surely, I Know Who Killed Me is no more ridiculous than some of Argento’s latest films (including Mother of Tears) – it’s just that Lohan and Sivertson don’t have the horror cred that Argento and daughter Asia do.

lindsay-lohan-i-know-who-killed-me-4 thumbnailGranted, this probably doomed I Know Who Killed Me from the start. Horror fans embracing tabloid loving Lindsay and Lindsay lovers grooving on avant garde horror – it just wasn’t going to happen. I, for one, enjoyed it all, though, and even if I have to hang my head in shame at all future horror conventions to come, I am glad I am finally admitting it: I love I Know Who Killed Me!

‘sides, the soundtrack kicks ass, as well.

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