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Luckyman

LuckymanReview by AngryPrincess

After my first viewing of Luckyman, it struck me, rather bluntly, that this movie had absolutely nothing to do with horror in any sense of the word.

As I watched this film, initially intrigued that a horror film was taking a Mafioso physique, I looked for all of the aspects that made or would make the film a surprising horror film. Nothing ever came. Luckyman is a mob-flick, simple as that. There is nothing in it or about it that so much as resembles horror in any fashion…well, that is except for Joe Spataro’s portrayal of Anthony, the main character’s older brother, but we’ll get there in due time.

Jimmy, the main character, has problems. Due to gambling habits, he has difficulty retaining money. It’s a common problem, sure. What takes it up a level is the fact that Jimmy owes mob-boss-Paulie money and has for weeks. Paulie’s cronies are forced to constantly track Jimmy down and give him a “beating” as a lesson to him and a reminder that he owes Paulie money…and lots of it. This is where Jimmy’s older brother, Anthony, a priest in training, comes into the picture.

Anthony will do anything to get his younger brother out of trouble, even if it means taking one for the team. When Anthony goes to Paulie to bargain for Jimmy’s debts, an agreement is reached. Anthony must steal money from a collector by some docks…we, the audience, really don’t know who or where. The stolen money must be delivered to Paulie. Once that is completed, Jimmy’s debts vanish. Done and done.

With omission for the sake of brevity; the job gets done, but Anthony gets injured. Jimmy must take the stolen money to Paulie. Simple enough, right? What must be remembered is that Jimmy is an idiot whose hopes range far greater in size than his rationale. Jimmy gets diverted to a small time gambling club where a big craps game is being played—a club that so happens to be owned and operated by the same family that Jimmy and Anthony stole from hours earlier. Jimmy’s expensive buy-ins and bets with the stolen money catch the attention of bosses in the club…which catches the attention of Paulie via telephone. Before he knows it, Jimmy gets carted out of the club and beaten soundly by Paulie’s cronies.

By the time Jimmy gets to Paulie’s place of business, Anthony is there waiting. Jimmy’s pleas to his brother are absorbed again, and Anthony gets called in to speak with Paulie.

Paulie puts it pretty simple: either he will slowly torture Jimmy to death over the course of days…or Anthony gets to kill him. If Anthony doesn’t kill him, they will both be killed. With the knowledge of Jimmy dying either way, Anthony accepts the latter option, knowing the he, at least, can kill Jimmy quickly and painless. That’s a big one to swallow for a priest-in-training. With his new task weighing him down, Anthony takes Jimmy up to the roof and breaks it to him that nothing can be done. Jimmy guesses that Anthony has to kill him, so he kills himself by jumping off the side of the building.

The End.

I kid you not.

This movie ends just as it begins. It’s thirty five minutes of set up with a hatch-back ending. Sure, the issue gets resolved; just in a completely unmoving and premature way. The story was just getting interesting, meaty, and layered. I wanted to see how far Jimmy was willing to go to get out of town and change his life. With a title like Luckyman, I wanted to see just how lucky Jimmy could get considering how luckless he was throughout the movie. I wanted to see a cat-and-mouse mob chase ending with the story in tow. Of all the places to take such a well-constructed plot, writer and director Ruvin Orbach simply opted out of the complexity by having Jimmy just give up and Anthony light a candle for him at church. Give me a break.

I enjoyed this film…until it ended. The only other distaste in my mouth is the casting choice of Joe Spataro as Anthony. Spataro is a rock; a solid rock in the mix of gems in this film. Spataro’s emotionless, one-dimensional, depthless line-read portrayal of such a strong paper character ruined the flow of the film and added insult to injury considering the fact that he is the one that survives the whole ordeal. How can anyone feel for a character if the actor playing said character can’t make a decent character decision to save his life? Spataro, my guess, was found as a friend by someone involved and was offered the part based on look. What intrigues me and plagues my mind at the same time is the wonder of how such a pitifully clueless actor could be cast in a role that displays limitless love, personal sacrifice for the greater good, fearless determination, and the ability to make a gut-wrenching decision that changes everything in life. Yes, this film may be low-budget, but if the likes of Vincent Pastore and Frank Vincent can be mustered for cameos and main characters, why was there such an allowance for a sub-par actor like Spataro?

If you want to be entertained 90’s style by a decent set up that makes your mind start working, watch this film. It ends prematurely but in doing so, it leaves the watcher with better ideas for endings and imaginative conclusions. If you’re looking for a good, low-budge movie, don’t bother. On the same level of the positives are the negatives. The movie just has an ending bad enough to ruin the whole experience. Oh, and if you’re looking for horror, which, based on the fact that you’re reading this site, you most likely are; forget this movie was made. It isn’t horror. Simple as that.

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