“You’re Scary, Man”: The Adventures of Wesley Eure in Low Budget Slashers, Snake Shit and Beyond! By Brian Kirst
This is a modern day Huckleberry Finn tale. And while occasional glitziness does enter the scene (c’mon this is partly about Hollywood, after all), rest assured, that anytime things happen to get too shiny – a star on the Palm Springs Walk of Fame, let’s say – there is always some hard boiled reality – a homeless man permanently hanging out around said star, perhaps – to truly level things out.
Growing up a Southern country boy (via Louisiana and Mississippi), Wesley Eure soon discovered that there was more to the world than helping the older kids cut open water moccasins down at the creek. “I told my family, I’m going to be an actor at a young age,” He recalls. After their initial shock, Eure recalls, “I have a great family. I wound up doing theater at school and community theater whenever I could.”
After a year of college and a stint as a driver for Robert Goulet and Carol Lawrence (on tour with “I Do, I Do”), Eure soon found himself with professional gigs in “West Side Story” (“How I Got My Equity Card!) and at the American Shakespeare Fest (with Tony nominated director Michael Kahn).
Landing in LA, he soon found himself staring into the wide eyes of comedienne Kaye Ballard as the drummer in a kids show called “The Organic Vegetables”. While that show never got out of the ground, as it were, Eure soon found himself performing on two shows with enduring popularity.
As a cast member of both Saturday morning giant, “Land of the Lost” and daily afternoon delight “Days of Our Lives”, Eure enthuses, “I was the happiest person in the world. For three years I was running into my father’s girlfriend’s arms in the morning and running away from monsters in the afternoon.”
“The Days of Our Lives cast (including young Natasha Ryan – well known to genre fans for roles in The Amityville Horror, Kingdom of the Spiders and The Entity) was like family.” Regarding Ryan, though, Eure sadly admits, “We had to sneak her food. Her mother was starving her to keep her tiny so she’d continue to be cast.”
And while a side gig in a Mike Curb proposed white boy pop band for Motown never saw the light of day, Eure was soon beaming a wicked smile across drive-in theaters around the world in the cult classic “The Toolbox Murders”. “They called and offered me the job,” he says of psychotic Kent Kingsley, “After playing good guys, I was thrilled. I really got into the role. It was a twelve day shoot in the San Fernando Valley, but it began to take its toll. I totally understand Heath Ledger – I can’t imagine being on a long shoot playing that kind of role.”
Prepping for the scene in which Kingsley burns his best friend to death; Eure realized he could light a match by striking it on his fingernail. “I was trying really hard to make the scene creepy, so I was practicing striking matches and I broke my nail. So, we had to get that scene in one take.”
Inspired by Jessica Lange’s watery appearance in the recent “King Kong” remake, Eure also did some feverish improvising after his character killed his uncle, played by notorious Cameron Mitchell, as well. “I decided to completely ignore Cameron and concentrate on trying to clean the doll he had been holding instead. I pretended the doll was Fay Wray under a waterfall as I rinsed it in the sink!”
Water also played into the film’s fans reactions as well. Roller-skating on Venice Beach one afternoon, Eure found himself circled by a group of scary thugs. “One of them said, Excuse, Toolbox Murders? I said Yeah and they started saying You’re scary, man! You’re scary, man! We won’t fuck with you!” And from then on, they became Eure’s friends and self proclaimed protectors on that occasionally dangerous boardwalk.
Their protection probably could have come in handy for Eure’s next project, “Jennifer”, a Canadian “Carrie” rip-off (this time with an obsessed father providing the religious fanaticism). Here the anti-heroine’s skills included the manipulation of snakes, and childhood pursuits aside, Eure emphasizes, “I hate snakes!” Boldly, Eure tried to get comfortable with the slithery creatures and nearly got a fang in the face right before shooting his very moist and wriggly demise. Therefore, “I screamed so loud that I scared the snakes and they shit all over me! Have you ever smelled snake shit? It’s the worst smell in the world- just a vile, awful smell. I ran off set, ripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower! The producers then came looking for me. They were like – That was amazing. We want to do it again. We want to make it bigger! – but they ultimately determined that cleaning my wardrobe and reapplying my make-up would require too much effort so they decided against it.”
After starring in Disney’s C.H.O.M.P.S. (about a computerized dog) with Valerie Bertinelli (“We’d be trying to do a quiet scene and all we’d hear was the dog wrangler yelling in the background!”), Eure soon found his life almost unbearably altered, though.
“All my friends started to die of AIDS. I was taking care of them – we still didn’t know what it was at the time – how it was caused -and once you contracted it; your lifespan was about two years. I thought if I had two years left would I want to spend it as an actor? The answer was no.”
To deal with his overwhelming emotions, Eure wrote a children’s book, “The Red Wings of Christmas”, dedicated to Jonathon Ellis, one of the dear friends that he had taken care of throughout his sickness. He also began to devote his life to traveling abroad.
“I went to Bali – I experienced the world. I tried everything – I ate sparrows barbequed on a stick. I still remember one of the little beaks getting stuck in my teeth. There were big signs, everywhere, in English – Beware of Thieves! I shared a cabin with only 6 berths with ducks and chickens.
At one point, my companion and I, for some strange reason, left all our belongings on the boat when it docked on a riverbank. We got invited to a beautiful monastery – We woke up the elders and met all these beautiful boys and men. (It was mandatory, there, to become a monk.) We exchanged gifts – and when we got back, the boat was gone. We began running down this muddy river bank after it and wound up getting in a fight with these river bandits. I picked up a chair, Ron (my companion) was a black belt and these 2 other Americans helped out – and we beat them down.
At one point – I exchanged a Sony Walkman for this awesome monkey – and he used to sleep wrapped around us. I was surviving on $2.50 a day there and I was planning to stay – but Disney bought Red Wings and – this was in the age before email, cell phones, Facebook, all that stuff – so I had to come back!”
While, Red Wings eventually fell through the cracks at Disney, composer Jerry Herman (Mame, Hello Dolly) discovered it, fell in love with it and ultimately made it his final project before his death– a memory Eure truly treasures.
A determined activist and event organizer, Eure has also recently combined his musical skills with the horror genre for a camp fest-musical “Bite Me” about a drag queen, a go-go boy and a vampire. “Its two divas and a naked boy!”
“Bite Me” (along with other enjoyably titled Eure projects like Child Stars from Hell) has received several successful productions including a ‘sold out run in Palm Springs” and Eure is also currently producing a workshop production of Steven Schwartz’s (Wicked) latest (“9 years in the making!”) production, “Snapshot”. (“He never wants to open,” Eure jokingly declares.)
This eclectic career longevity, Mark Twain (and all other world adventurers) be praised, definitely is a thrill to Eure (who did indeed, recently, receive his Palm Springs Walk of Fame Star) and all his long term fans, horror and otherwise.
