Has anyone seen Bloody Mallory? If not, can you do me a favor and watch Bloody Mallory? It’s currently available for free on FEARnet. I just want to make sure that this movie is real and not a bad side effect from the allergy medication I’m taking. This movie seemed promising at first, but once it was underway, it seemed like a really bad acid trip. Did someone actually come up with this plot and think it was a good idea? I read that Bloody Mallory is similar to Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Bloodrayne, which is what originally made me watch it in the first place. But, this film is pretty much the above mentioned films on crack…lots and lots of crack.
Bloody Mallory follows a woman named, you guessed it, Mallory. After surviving a vampire attack on her wedding night, Mallory is recruited to join an anti-paranormal league that protects humanity from the supernatural forces that would wish to kill them. She is joined by a cop who is the ambassador for their squad, a 7+ foot tranny/drag queen, and a mute psychic who looks surprisingly like Cindy Lou Who from The Grinch. They drive around in a pink hearse fighting evil.
Ok, let me look away from the ridiculous plot for a second and talk about Bloody Mallory as a production. The film originated in Denmark and is HORRIBLY dubbed here in American; and I mean HORRIBLY. There are times when you hear someone speak SEVERAL seconds before their mouth actually starts moving. And, while we’re on the subject of speech, the script is terrible. It’s very cliché and over the top yet intellectual and boring, which doesn’t mix well at all. The only redeemable qualities this film has is its great fight sequences and its minimal gore and explosions. Everything else is just…bad. I’ll give the creators props for trying to make a new, original monster fighting squad movie – but at the end of the day, they failed.
Only watch Bloody Mallory if you’re drunk, unless you like Euro-trash films that don’t make a lick of sense.
One Comment
Leave a Reply