Review by BigBadWolfBoy
So the title card comes up, and it’s some sort of expository hooey about a world ‘not unlike our own’ (groan) and an advanced species of Homo Sapiens known as ‘The Brotherhood’ (double groan), and I say to myself, “Here we go again with the Capitalizing Of Titles So That We Know When Something Is Important“. I start thinking that I will be a new species known as The Reviewer working for an entity known as The Internet. And one day a Chosen One will arise, known as He/She/Person/Three-Toed Sloth Who Doesn’t Give A Good Goddamn, and this Chosen One will defeat The Reviewer and topple The Internet once and for all! While being stoic and, if male, wearing a priestly smock or, if female, some tight and shiny leather. The Three-Toed Sloth would, I am fully convinced, be wearing a pantsuit fashioned out of twigs and moss. But it would still be quite a stoic Three-Toed Sloth. Or something. Did I mention I was groaning?
Turns out I groaned too soon. Perfect Creature is a more than decent action/horror romp that reminded me of the time that Underworld and Children of Men were having a wrestling match and accidently tumbled into Jeff Goldblum’s teleporter from The Fly.
Dougray Scott (Hey! So this is what happened to him! I was wondering.) plays Silus, a high ranking Brotherhood official. He’s stoic. He wears a priestly smock. He’s a vampire. Oh, nobody calls The Brotherhood vampires, but they have fangs, superhuman strength and reflexes, and drink blood. Plus they all listen to The Cure and complain about how nobody understands them. Okay I made that last part up, but what can I say? I’m a wolfboy! Gotta rag on the vamps from time to time.
Anyway, a fascinating twist to vampire lore has The Brotherhood actually watching over and protecting humans. They wear their priestly smocks for a reason- The Brotherhood pledge themselves to solitary lives guarding humans. They do not hunt humans for food; instead humans gladly donate blood, since The Brotherhood then use their own vampiric blood to develop antibiotics for human diseases. It’s a new take on the co-existence of humans and vampires that I’d never seen before, and I found it a welcome change of pace from the ordinary blood-sucker legend.
The story kicks into gear when a Brother becomes infected by one of the diseases he’s trying to cure. Edgar is his name and ripping out human throats soon becomes his game. Again what’s intriguing is that despite being around for hundreds of years, this is the first time a Brother has preyed on humans. Silus goes after Edgar (since in addition to being Brothers they are also…uh…brothers), and along the way he enlists the aid of human police officer Lilly, played by Saffron Burrows (Hey! So this is what happened to her! Last time I saw Saffron Burrows she was taunting a supershark in her skivvies! Didn’t work out so well for her.) Seems both Edgar and Silus have taken a liking to Officer Lilly, and it’s not long before poor Saffron Burrows is tied to a pipe in a steam factory and we get CGI vampire fighting and a subplot about Edgar’s attempt to successfully breed a human and a Brother to form a hybrid- the Perfect Creature of the title.
If it’s a tad predictable, and the pacing is a bit snoozy, and the end degenerates into yet another game of hide-and-seek in the abovementioned steam factory, I still recommend at least a rental for this oddity. When Edgar goes on a rampage it’s bloody and well executed. The look of the city is a slick Victorian England mixed with modern-day technological flourishes, and while I tire of futures and alternate worlds where everybody must hold a job in the chimney sweeping field because of the amount of soot on their faces and clothes, at least this film commits to its look and pulls if off rather well.
And the performances are mostly spot on. Kudos to Leo Gregory who turns Edgar into a fun, violent villain. Dougray Scott does the strong silent thing well as Silus. Too bad Saffron Burrows is so bland as Lilly.
Director Glenn Standring shows definite promise. As both writer and director of Perfect Creature, he has crafted a new and interesting vision of what has become a mostly stale genre. With more action and less plodding through the middle of this movie, I’d be screaming bloody murder for a theatrical release of Perfect Creature. As it is I liked it, but found it just too slow to completely get behind. Still, I say give it a look, if for no other reason than to see a fresh take on the vampire legend.
