IMDB has Paranormal Calamity under the comedy genre. No, no no. I’m sorry, but Paranormal Calamity is soft-core pornography. They should have just named it Paranormal Camel-toe. But, since I was sent this movie to watch and review… Here is my first porno review… I guess…
Paranormal Calamity follows a very unhappy married couple who find themselves pestered by the spirits of three prostitutes. The haunting starts off innocent enough, but soon the spirits discover they can possess the living. Now, bored and blue-balled husband Michael must find a way to cement his love with one of the spirits, deal with his crazy wife, and not get possessed the prostitute spirits’ pimp, Jack Longfellow. Paranormal Calamity is written and directed by John Wesley Norton. The film stars Tony Brown, Michael Wexler, Jen Schmidt, James Vallo, and Rosa Isela Frausto (Road Kill).
This movie is just really silly. There is a basic plot involved, but every twist and turn drives it further and further into complete madness. I don’t think this movie was made to be taken seriously at all. Sure, it was filmed very well, but the plot is so ridiculous I can’t see why anyone would pick this up. Obviously, it was created to try and capitalize on the Paranormal Activity craze, and hey, maybe making a porno version was a good idea. I mean, it did end up in my lap after all. It was a fun movie, but ultimately the type of humor I haven’t found humorous in about five years.
There’s a whole lot wrong with the soft-core porno aspects of the film too. The lead actor isn’t super attractive, so straight female viewers will be turned off. And the sex scenes aren’t long enough, which will make the male demographic look elsewhere for quality porn. If you’ve ever watched Showtime or HBO late at night and seen the spoof porn they show on there, then this is something you could expect to see there if it was a little more risky. Yes, there are lots and lots of sex scenes in Paranormal Calamity – at least fifteen – but there is still much to be desired.
I don’t know what else there is to say. The acting was horrible, no surprise there in spoof porn. The plot was thinly veiled and there was not even a teaspoon of horror throughout the entire film. The characters were all mostly unlikable. Sex scenes were too soft-core. The only – and I mean THE ONLY – redeemable qualities in Paranormal Calamity is that it is very, very silly and younger viewers will enjoy it; and that it is filmed very nicely.
