Computer Hearts (Short Review)


Director(s) – Turner Stewart (S.I.D.S.) and Dionne Copland (House That Kills People)
Starring – Turner Stewart, Dionne Copland, and Alix Miller
Release Date – 2015
Rating – 4/5

I love when I sit down to watch a film and it completely knocks my socks off.  I mean, I absolutely love when I get a film I know nothing, and I mean nothing, about it and when I toss it in the movie completely blows my mind.  Not very many films have done that but when it does I have to tell the world about it.

A few weeks ago I saw the movieComputer Hearts by Hentai Cop Films pop up on different horror collector groups on Facebook.  This somewhat surprised me because the film does not look like a horror flick.  The film’s poster does not show any sign that it is a horror flick but did look like a hentai flick and hentai is, well we all know what hentai is.  I did a little digging and discovered that the film was a horror film of sorts so I reached out director Turner Stewart who was nice enough to hook me up with a review link.  Thanks Turner!


**Spoiler Alert**The film follows young couple Albert (Stewart) and Vanessa (Miller) who are living together and trying to get by.  Albert is stuck in a rut between work and cutting small talk with his fiance Vanessa.  To drown out the mundane, Albert seeks solace in a computer program with his virtual girlfriend Vanessa2.  This obsession takes a firm hold on Albert and he starts to slip from this reality forcing distance between him and his real life fiance.  She leaves him and he dives deeper into cyberspace (do people still call it that?).

Vanessa2 enjoys all this time she is now getting from Albert-kun and then the weird gets waste deep.  The computer then turns into a giant vagina and Albert eats her out before she turns him into a living machine.  Vanessa shows up to make amends but things are too far gone and Vanessa2 forces Albert-kun to stuff Vanessa’s body into her computer pussy so she can use it to be a living creature.  **Spoiler Alert**

Shorts have the power to deliver an amazing story full of action and entertainment in just a short period of time with very little room for wasted time.  It is rare for a short to start out slow only to end with a bang but it does happen.  Computer Hearts is one of those films.  The movie was a bit of a slow burn at first but fuck did it deliver when it really counted!

The acting in this one is solid but it is not consistent.  In the film’s opening the two characters have a hard time having what would look like a natural conversation.  This results in awkward scenes full of dialogue but as the film progresses the characters’ on screen chemistry changes and they find their knack creating some very enjoyable scenes.

The story for this is one we have seen a few times before but not of them go to the lengths and perversions that this film does.  We have seen several other films feature computers or the like that become self aware and fall in love with the user.  The first thing that came to my mind when I first watched this was the Disney Channel original movie Smart Housethat was released in 1999.

Both films follow a computer device, or smart house in one aspect, that falls in love with it’s human user and will do at nothing to be with them forever.  The film then switches gears and goes the body-horror route and combines flesh with metal in a similar concept seen in several other films with the most obvious film coming to mind.  That film is the Jamie Lee Curtis flick Virus that was coincidentally released in 1999.  Though the film has similar elements to other films it is still a very unique film in the way the story was delivered.  The film starts out innocently and then before you know it, the films turns into a vile and disgusting piece of cinema.

Finally, the film does have a few on screen kills that are full of amazing practical effects and enough gore to cover an entire theater full of gorehounds.  We only get two deaths scenes, in a sense, but Turner and Dionne milk it for everything they are worth and deliver.  Overall, Computer Hearts may not sound like the next amazing horror film but I can assure you that it is.  This film deserves every bit of your time.  Check it out because you will not be disappointed!



Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.