I’m going to cut right to the chase here, right from the first line of my review, and state for anyone who reads this that High School Exorcism is the farthest thing from a horror film. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Despite being classified as such on Amazon and IMDB, despite the cool cover art and despite any synopsis and marketing tools you come across online… High School Exorcism is not a horror film. Don’t believe the hype, do not waste your money.
High School Exorcism is written by Hanz Wasserburger and directed by Peter Sullivan, both of whom have made a career out of creating Lifetime Network flavored Christmas movies. It was produced, however, by Barry Barnholtz, whose previous credits include Cyborg 2, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Leprechaun and The Mangler 2. Still, his expertise wasn’t enough to save this flick. Cast members appearing in High School Exorcism include Janel Parrish (“Pretty Little Liars”), Jennifer Stone (“Wizards of Waverly Place”), Shanley Caswell (“NCIS: New Orleans”), Kelly Hu (“Arrow”), Chris Brochu (“The Vampire Diaries”), Spencer Neville (“Days of Our Lives”), Ione Skye and William McNamara.
Amazon lists the synopsis as, “After her parents separate, high school senior Chloe, a one-time top student and star athlete, begins to suffer the frightening onset of schizophrenia. She finds herself torn between Lauren, her concerned best friend, and Olivia, a religious classmate who is convinced that Chloe is possessed. When Olivia decides to conduct an exorcism on Chloe, can Lauren save her friend before things turn deadly?” but that’s the real cookie cutter version. This should have been a give-away to me, as a horror reviewer, that I should take caution when deciding whether or not to purchase this title. It is apparent, even from that few sentence summary, that the plot device of exorcism has taken a backseat to high school girl dramatics.
It’s fitting that Janel Parrish of “Pretty Little Liars” – and so many other teen show stars – headlined High School Exorcism because that show is the exact metaphor that I would compare this movie to. I would say High School Exorcism is like “Pretty Little Liars” meets Mean Girls meets anything on ABC Family Network with the slightest dash of Exorcism of Emily Rose tossed in as a leftover. I’m not knocking any of the actors or actresses involved in this movie at all because, honestly, they are all fantastic and gave top notch performances, however, they all just seemed a little off in a title marketed as a horror film. A few disembodied voices, a few visual effects to make people look sickly, the talk of exorcisms being real and someone briefly wielding a ceremonial dagger does not equal a horror film. So, I’m not sure what the DVD cover/movie poster was trying to convey seeing how there was never fire or a pentagram used in the movie ever. Shame on you, Hybrid – the film’s distributor.
Also, why the fuck is High School Exorcism rated R?!?! This is barely PG-13. No nudity, no drug use, barely any cursing and very mind violence.
I did a little digging to see if High School Exorcism was produced by a Catholic or Christian based company because I feel like that was the underlying theme here – friendship and strong faith in the Lord can get you through anything! This movie was riddled with themes, actually, with others including bullying, mental health and how your relationships become stronger or deteriorate as you near the end of high school. Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that family’s falling apart wasn’t a thematic go to here as it was mentioned almost every other scene that one girl’s father was a cheater and bounced, and the other girl’s father died. All of these things contribute even more-so towards making High School Exorcism seem even more out of genre. I don’t mind life lessons being thrown into a horror movie… as long as I’m actually watching one!
From a production standpoint, High School Exorcism is perfect and would really succeed if the exorcism parts were taken out and replaced with more romance or drama. Unfortunately, this really kills any rating I could give it. Without genre labels and as a somewhat independently produced feature, I could give it a high marking. As a horror film, which they so desperately tried to categorize it as, I have to say… 3 out of 10. Sorry.
