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Itsy Bitsy (Review)

Director – Micah Gallo (Wick, Massacre Lake)
Starring – Bruce Davison (X-Men, The Exorcist), Elizabeth Roberts (Black Knight, Heroes), and Denise Crosby (Pet Sematary, Dolly Dearest)
Release Date – 2019
Rating – 2.5/5

Tagline – “Always check under the bed”

I know so many people who are afraid of spiders. When I mean they are afraid of spider I mean they become hysterical when they see them. I know a lot of people scream and make a scene just trying to get attention but there are so many out there that just completely shut down when they see one. I am not one of those people. I typically pick them up and carry them outside if I find one in my home.

Spiders don’t scare me but I do usually have fun with horror films centered around spiders. Movies like Eight Legged Freaks and Arachnophobia are two films I often revisit. Sometime back I got the announcement that Shout Studios was releasing the new spider horror flick Itsy Bitsy. I was curious about the film and was lucky enough to get a copy of it for review before it was released. Thanks Shout Factory for sending this one my way.

**Spoiler Alert**The film follows a single mother with her two children who move from the city to a country home. She has a job taking care of an older gentleman who collects different antiques and ancient relics. Among his possessions is a cursed egg. When the single mother’s son Jesse (Arman Darbo) visits the man’s home he steals something from him which unleashes an ancient spider that will stop at nothing to kill them all. **Spoiler Alert**

I really wanted to like Itsy Bitsy. I absolutely hate getting a movie in for review only to write a negative review for it. It happens and it typically makes me feel like an ass but I refuse to lie in my reviews. The movie did have some cool parts but the overall film just did not go over well with me.

The acting in this one is extremely uneven. When I typically say this I’m referring to some of the cast members upstaging others but that is not the case with this film. Instead, the cast just doesn’t care in several scenes and in others they are delivering the best performances they can. I don’t know if the cast were exhausted when certain scenes were shot or if the director was more laid back but there is a definite inconsistency with the film.

The story for this one is goofy at times while struggling to find its footing but does deliver a few moments that I enjoyed. The ancient egg hiding an evil spider that finds itself in the home of an old man deep in the country is pretty fucking lame. However, if you let that slide you find yourself almost enjoying the anti-climatic game of cat and mouse inside of a the old house. The movie is predictable and the tension and suspense is missing from all the dramatic scenes.

Finally, the film does have a few scenes with great practical effects but we don’t get the blood and gore we would like to see from a giant spider movie. The practical effects we do get are great but they are overshadowed by the cheap CGI spider as the film draws to a close. Overall, Itsy Bitsy would have worked if it was made in the 80s along with the other campy monster movies but for a horror film in 2019 it falls short. I would recommend this one if you have a fear of spiders but normal horror fans will not enjoy themselves with this one.

Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.