Scare Package (Review)

7 directors. 7 tales of terror. 0 working cell phones

Director(s) – Courtney Andujar (I Could’ve Been Sweet), Hillary Andujar (The Caterer, Parched Dreams), Anthony Cousins (Peek A Boo, The Bloody Ballad of Squirt Reynolds), Emily Hagins (My Sucky Teen Romance, V/H/S), Aaron B. Koontz (The Pale Door, Honor Student), Chris McInroy (We Summoned a Demon, Hellarious), Noah Segan, and Baron Vaughn
Starring – Jeremy King (100 Tears, The Pale Door), Noah Segan (Knives Out, Breaking Bad), and Toni Trucks (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Pizza with Bullets)
Release Date – 2019
Rating – 3/5

Back in October I decided to binge as many horror movies as I could which I think resulted in me watching and writing 80 some reviews. That was my busiest month I’ve had in the almost ten years of writing reviews. One movie I thought I would get in before Halloween was Scare Package. This anthology was a Shudder exclusive that I had been interested in checking out for some time. The movie didn’t make it to me before Halloween but I did get it in a few days back. I couldn’t wait to check it out and I want to thank Wan PR for sending it over to me. I really enjoyed this goofy horror comedy!

**Spoiler Alert** The film begins with Chad of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium picking up a hitchhiker who tells him about his screenplay which involved a young man who is trying to find his place in life and soon finds himself in the perfect horror setting after accidentally killing two babysitters. Chad drops him off before returning to his store where he hires his newest employee Hawn. While Chad is training Hawn a shop regular comes in and tells him about the movie One Time in the Woods that he just watched about a group of campers who not only cross paths with a man infected with a fleash eating virus and a mask wearing slasher.

After talking about that tale we move into another called M.I.S.T.E.R. which follows a man who is at a low point in his life. He joins a self help group for men but they are not as they appear to be. In The Night He Came Back Again: Part IV follows a final girls that is continuously stalked by a slasher that kills all her friends and preventing her from having sex. The next tale is Girls Night Out of Body that follows a group of ladies havinga sleep over that doesn’t go according to plan. On a tape marked “watch me” Hawn watches So Much to Do which follows a very busy man that possesses a woman and the two square off on an internal struggle. The final story follows Chad who is then kidnapped and taken to an underground testing facility that is studying slashers and their supernatural abilities. **Spoiler Alert**

Scare Package is a great love letter to the horror films that many of us grew up on but it’s gimmick is it’s wrong doing. I loved so much about this anthology but when it was done and over with I found myself not satisfied by what I had just seen. I’ll explain that in just a moment.

The acting in this one is very well done. All the segments were very well acted with some amazing performances. We get so many memorable characters and even an appearence from Joe Bob Briggs. Also, I was happy to see Chase Williamson in this one. He’s one of my favorite indie actors that I wish would be cast more than what he is.

The stories for this one are of varying qualities. Some of the segments really pulled me in but they were over as soon as they started. The wrap around segment is a fantastic meta-slasher that not only parodies the sub-genre I love but builds upon the cliches to create something that we haven’t seen since Behind the Mask. With that being said, there was others like Girls Night Out of Body and So Much to Do that feels like they were just rushed productions that have no real point to the story. This was my biggest complaint with the complaint with the trilogy. Some of the better segments are just too short while the others were just rushed and there to push the film’s running time.

Finally, this film holds nothing back when it comes to blood and gore. We get so many amazing kills, amputations, ooze, and so on. The practical effects are damn near perfect and something that really makes this one stand out among it’s peers. With that being said, there is several instances of visual effects that just look cheap. These few scenes are not impressive and ruins the tone of the scene. Overall, Scare Package is a loving tribute to 80s horror but some of the segments are not on the same level as others. The acting is phenomenal and the effects are to be seen to be believed. Give this one a watch and but expect some inconsistencies.

Written by Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.