Director – Eric Eichelberger
Starring – Joshua Cheramie, Vance Clemente (Devil’s Prey, Short Comings), and Penelope Grand
Release Date – 2018
Rating – 2/5
A few months ago I was searching for Troma releases on Amazon when I came across a list of indie releases that was new to Amazon Prime. A few of these releases really caught my eye but one really stood out and that was 2018’s Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre. Many years ago I reviewed Razor Sharp Studio’s Catholic Ghoulgirls from West Virginia filmmaker Eamon Hardiman. That title really put me in mind of that so I had to jump on it. It arrived a few weeks back and I had to toss it in as soon as I had time for it.
**Spoiler Alert** The film follows a brother and sister pair with an evil plan to rule the world. The brother is known for directing gay porn but is also an evil scientist with plans on using women from his sister’s reform school to sell girl scout cookies that turn those that eat them into the living dead. **Spoiler Alert**
I went into this one really fucking excited to give it a spin. It looked like the kind of indie zombie flicks that I grew up loving. However, the film was anything but that. I did like a few things about it but at the end of the day I found it to be a chore to sit through and one that just didn’t work out.
The acting in this one is very inconsistent. Some of the characters were zany and a little over the top which is something I really enjoy. They brought some nice humor to the film and made the lack of a story not be as obvious. With that being said, some of the cast delivered some dry and unenthused performances. These particular cast members are a little more awkward to watch and don’t fully commit to their characters.
The story for this one reminded me a lot of the zombie flicks I was watching in the early 2000s. It was cheesy, comical, and didn’t take itself too seriously. Sadly, it overstayed it’s welcome and gives the viewer a film that is almost two hours long with a story that would barely run 40 minutes. I liked the wild story the film attempts to give us but the way it was approached was just all wrong. I love a story that takes the time to give us character development but this movie spends way too much time on it, as well as, shoving so many unnecessary scenes down our throats. This movie is just too long.
Finally, the film has some blood and some make-up effects but nothing that would stand out to the typical genre fan. The zombies have some black and gray paint on their faces and we get some blood splatter here and there. Overall, Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre is a huge waste of time. If you have two hours to kill I would suggest watching a five minute clip on Pornhub and then reflect on your poor choice in porn for the next hour and 55 minutes. skip it.
