Blu Release – 4/5
Born a Ninja
Director – Joseph Lai (Ninja Hunt, Golden Ninja Warrior)
Starring – Man Fei (American Commando Ninja), Patrick Largent (Power Kids, Team of Prodigies), and Martin Chan
Release Date – 1988
Rating – 2/5
Tagline – “A spy who will stop at nothing to complete his mission . A scientist who is torn between love for the present and terror of the past”
I’ve been a fan of kung fu and martial arts movies longer than I have the horror genre. My dad bought some of these films on tape from someone and from that night on I was hooked. I would watch them with my grandma and on several occasions I would pick one of these films over a horror title.
A few weeks back I was sent the double feature of Born a Ninja and Commando the Ninja from my friends over at Visual Vengeance. I had just received two releases from them a few days prior and decided that when I had the time I would turn this into a marathon. After Fungicide and The Screaming, I hit this double feature with Born a Ninja first. I want to thank Visual Vengeance and MVD for sending this one along for review!
**Spoiler Alert** Tanaka, a scientist with a past, is unable to face the sight of the atrocities he committed as a germ-war researcher during WWII. Martin, miraculously returns from the dead, recruits an ace but evil Ninja, Simon, to retrieve Tanaka and the formula. Lung, a master of a lost art joins the battle and goes head-on with Simon. The Japanese samurai and the Chinese martial arts finally encounter. battle between Ninjitsu finally starts. At the same time, Tanaka takes the plunge. In a burnt laboratory, he uses the golden horn to locate the germ formula. Despite the heroics, Tanaka’s gang is pursued once again by Martin, Daniel and Simon. Tanaka finally gets the formula but it is shot from his hand again. The ghostly image floods Tanaka’s mind and he is left laughing in an insane heap. **Spoiler Alert**
Just so we are clear, I copied the synopsis from Letterboxd because I have absolutely no fucking clue as to what I just watched. There was ninjas, talk about Hocus Pocus, grown men rolling around like it was a fighting tactic. I love bad movies and I love when movies are bad on purpose but this was a difficult one for me to sit through. As I’ve said in previous reviews, I hate writing a negative review for a movie that was sent to me but I’m always honest.
The acting in this one is unintentionally funny. I found myself laughing more than I should have at a lot of the line delivery during the dialogue heavy scenes. The cast was very inexperienced in acting which made a lot of the scenes funny when they shouldn’t have been.
The story for this one is all over the place and I still have no fucking clue as to what was happening most of the time. The best that I can piece together is that someone was a real piece of shit during WWII and wants to make up for his misdeeds but someone evil is wanting to use something he was affiliated with to cause mass death. I could be wrong but the film is not very coherent or easy to follow. We really need a tighter story and better editing.
Finally, don’t go into this one expecting a blood bath with a lot of fun effects. We have some ninja costumes and some not so bad fight choreography but that is the extent of it. Overall, Born a Ninja could be a fun one if you are in a room full of like minded people who have been drinking but if you are looking for a campy kung fu flick then this one is not for you. Sadly, I would suggest skipping this one.
Commando the Ninja
Director – Chi Lo (Magic Swords, Tiger Angels)
Starring – Man Fei (Born a Ninja), Patrick Largent (Power Kids, Team of Prodigies), and Hung Kuan (One-Armed Boxer, The Deadly Island)
Release Date – 1988
Rating – 2/5
Tagline – “One man’s battle to save the world from an evil bacteriological nightmare”
I’m going to be completely honest here. I went into this second film in the double feature confused. I watched them in the order they were on the cover and in the set but it seems that maybe Commando was the first film while imdb lists both films as releasing in 1988.
Honestly, I have no idea what the order is here but it looks like there is several other films in this series. Regardless, I still gave this one a chance because of how much I respect and love Visual Vengeance and what they are doing for long forgotten S.O.V. films regardless of their genre. Like always, I want to thank Visual Vengeance and MVD for sending this one over.
**Spoiler Alert** The film, I believe, is about a ninja trying to find a bioweapon from WWII but Russians are on the hunt for it as well. **Spoiler Alert**
I really did try when I hit play on this. It’s cool that I have this one in my collection and dig that VV is looking outside of horror for releases but these two films are difficult to watch alone…and sober. It was edited poorly and the story is damn near impossible to follow. I hate being this negative but it’s a rough movie for sure.
The acting in this one is very amateurish. The cast gets into their roles but inexperience and lack of direction makes the scenes very awkward to watch. I was hoping the movie would have that unintentional humor that I found in Born a Ninja but I think it had ran it’s course by the time I tossed this one in.
The story for this one is so fucking confusing and that is a big part in the way the film was edited. I read on letterboxd that the movie was pieced together from an unused episode of a television show. While I don’t know how true this is but it answers a lot of my questions if it is.
Finally, we get some solid fights scenes that don’t really go anywhere and that is about the extent of it. Genre fans looking for memorable deaths and gore will be very disappointed. Overall, Commando the Ninja is a rough one to watch. I’m still convinced that it would be fun to watch with like minded movie fans while high but it’s difficult to finish while sober and alone. I cannot recommend this one.
Special Features:
SD masters from original tape elements
Commando the Ninja commentary with Justin Decloux and Will Sloane of The Important Cinema Club
Born A Ninja with commentary by Justin Decloux of The Important Cinema Club
The Essential Godfrey Ho – Video Essay
The Law Chi Touch – Video Essay
Actor Kwan Chung interview
Image Gallery
Original Trailers
Visual Vengeance Trailers
Optional English subtitles
Two folded mini-posters with original VHS art
Reversible sleeve featuring original VHS art
‘Stick Your Own’ VHS sticker set – FIRST PRESSING ONLY – WHILE SUPPLIES LAST
Limited Edition O-Card by Uncle Frank – FIRST PRESSING ONLY – WHILE SUPPLIES LAST
Booklet with essay by ninja movie expert C.J. Lines
Blu-ray sleeve featuring art by The Dude
