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Review: Unlucky Charms (2013)


You can be sure that there are plenty of charms are on display in the latest Full Moon feature directed by Charles Band. Hot babes and cool monsters make UNLUCKY CHARMS a fun ride from start to finish.

Farr Darrig (Nathan Phillips) is a leprechaun trapped in the underworld reminiscing about bygone days. Residing in the underworld with him are other legends: Bloody Bones (Peter Badalamenti) the cyclops, Pookah (Ben Woolf) the hobgoblin, and Banshee (Katrina Kemp) the…erm… banshee. Someone has summoned them to the surface and the only way they could have been called is if a powerful person had collected all four of their charms which had been hidden all over the world. The creatures are not sure if they are to be used for good or for ill until they receive their commands which causes them great concern and causes much soul searching.

Five hot contestants competing for a spokesmodel contract for DeeDee’s Delights gothic lingerie line in a reality TV show. The show is set in a sprawling castle and is judged by designer DeeDee DeVille (Jeryl Sales), the producer Baxter (Chris O’Connell), and consultant Pirl (Seth Peterson). The girls are cookie cutter stereotypes from any reality television show. There’s Darla (Alex Rose Wiesel) the bad girl. She’s hot, she knows it and she’s not afraid to point out the other girls shortcomings. Erin (Anna Sophia Berglund) is the slut who tries to bone her way to the win. The gorgeous Sheila (Nikki Leigh) is the girl who is afraid that she is getting fat. Audrey (Tiffany Thornton) is the wholesome good girl who doesn’t stand a chance because the others will eat her alive. Finally there is Mika (Masuimi Max) the exotic girl trying to escape her overbearing parents.

DeeDee is hiding a dark secret. She is only staging this show to maintain her youth by magically devouring the souls of the girls with help from the four legends. Farr Darrig and company don’t want to harm people but they are at the whim of the person who wields the ancient charm bracelet. After gruesomely dispatching a couple of the nubile contestants, the monsters must try to find a way to turn the tables on DeeDee so that they no longer work for evil.

The effects are Full Moon standard, meaning the make-up is excellent, the practical effects are adequate and the ever-present cheesy but fun CGI fire and laser light effects are present. The acting is good for this kind of film. All of the actors play it straight with no one really trying to ham it up. The babes are top notch with many of them faked and baked in various states of undress throughout the film. If they look familiar its because two of them are from Disney (Thornton and Wiesel) and two are from Playboy (Leigh and Bergland). The picture quality is excellent and it is presented in anamorphic widescreen. The sound engineering is good with no noticeable fading. Full Moon always has top notch scores when Richard Band is involved. UNLUCKY CHARMS is no exception. The latest feature tops THE DEAD WANT WOMEN which was pretty fun itself.

The Redbox DVD features an intro announcing, trailers for OOGA BOOGA, PUPPET MASTER 2, 3 & X, CASTLE FREAK, KILLJOY GOES TO HELL, and REEL EVIL. There is also a Badass Dolls Promo, a neat MegaMix video and a brand spanking new VIDEOZONE!?!

Also appears on Slashers, Starlets and Sleaze

Written by HombreLobo

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