Don’t be confused. Unfortunately, 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is not a sequel to Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth. Still, Scary Movie 5 came out two years ago and I wasn’t able to get into the Haunted House franchise, so I took a gamble on this horror-comedy spoof film. Was my $2.99 rental worth the price of purchase? Read on to… Yeah, no. It wasn’t. I’ll just say that now. It was not worth the price of purchase…
30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is written and directed by Craig Moss. Cast members include French Stewart (“3rd Rock from the Sun,” “Hercules”), Danny Woodburn (“Bones,” “Seinfeld”), Ashley Martin, Austin Michael Scott, Alissa Kramer, Heidi Kramer, Arturo del Puerto, Ben Morrison, Tyler Phillips, Peter Gilroy and Ryan Slater.
In 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a young woman and her new family move into her childhood home where her father previously murdered the entire cast of The Artist during a naked exorcism with clowns. It’s not long before ghostly activity starts interfering with their love lives and business opportunities. Now, with the help of “The Ghost Brothers,” Abraham Lincoln and the flamboyantly slutty manny, they must find a way to banish the evil spirits from the house to reclaim their sense of peace. But the spirits won’t make it easy. They’re going to make it hard.
To start things off, here’s a list of horror films I saw parodied here: Abraham Lincoln vs. Vampires, Black Swan, The Devil Inside, The Exorcist, Ghostbusters, Paranormal Activity, Resident Evil and Underworld. The majority of the film was a Paranormal Activity spoof, though, and 30 Days of Night was not referenced despite being highlighted in the title. Other parodies I spotted include Adele, The Artist, “The Bachelor,” Bridesmaids, The Dark Knight Rises, Donald Trump, Ghost, “Ghost Adventures,” The Hunger Games, Paula Deen, “Storage Wars,” Subway and Super Mario Brothers.
With that said, 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is bad. I mean, really bad. Sure, the “acting” and the cinematography was good, but the rest was… just horrible. This movie basically makes the Scary Movie franchise look like Avatar, Jurassic World and Titanic. There was no plot in place at all except for the haunted house aspect and it basically became a race to see how many references and how much dirty humor could be squeezed into an hour and a half. At least other films in the horror-comedy spoof category have remnants of plot or an ounce or two of story development. Not here. This is a film that’s merciless and wants to beat you over and over again with its non-existent funny stick.
And that’s just the thing… It’s not funny, like, at all… I never smiled. I never even chuckled at this utter disaster. Why did someone write this and why did a studio give someone $3,000,000 to make this? The medium for comedy in 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo almost always revolves around sex and nudity. “Haha the ghost jerked off. It’s funny, right?!” “Haha the manny is having sex with the pool hose. It’s funny, right?!” “Haha the husband stepped in his own pee. It’s funny, right?!” SEX, BODY FUNCTIONS AND NUDITY ARE FUNNY, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!? No, not really, especially not in this case. The nudity is appreciated, but it’s just another desperate attempt to make this title more pleasing to its targeted audience.
Normally I could recommend a good spoof comedy to young men between the age of 16 and 22, but I can’t recommend this movie to anyone…ever. I don’t know any of the HorrorSociety readers personally, but I think highly enough of you all not to offend your intelligence by saying you’d remotely enjoy this movie. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. Final Score: 2 out of 10.