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Review: Jeff Hare’s Killer Under the Bed

Killer Under the Bed isn’t to be confused with a handful of other titles with the same name, or Lifetime’s “horror” movie from last Spring, Under the Bed. Shot by John Production Group and Harbor Light Studios, Killer Under the Bed is Lifetime’s latest attempt at “horror,” and it started out delivering just that – the promise of a real scary movie. With a grand house surrounded by woods, a young teen being chased and attacked in a shed, and the calm before the storm, I was hopeful that this movie was going to be The Network For Women’s first real attempt at disturbing its audience outside of movies about pedophiles, rapists, abuse and divorce. Despite looking better than anything you’ll find on the SyFy Network, Killer Under the Bed is another sad attempt at capturing an audience around Halloween season, and I was fooled into watching this feature film only because Kristy Swanson was one of three leads. (I’m ready for Swamp Shark 2 now…) Written by Bryan Dick and directed by Jeff Hare, Killer Under the Bed sees a mother and her two teenager daughters relocating to a new home, a new town, a new school, and a new job following the tragic death of the girls’ father. When the younger daughter discovers a voodoo doll, she learns that the devil doll is capable of bringing her deepest desires to life. What could possibly go wrong? Brec Bassinger (“The Haunted Hathaways”), Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Madison Lawlor (“The Social Experiment”), Chris Prascus, Ashlee Fuss, Kristin Carey, Frederick Dawson and Tunisha Hubbard star in a scary movie where nothing scary ever happens.

And that’s a shame. Because Killer Under the Bed could have been a hit for the network had it not been afraid to push the envelope a little more. Screenwriter Bryan Dick added possession to the story near the end, but the doll could have been so much more sinister. I mean, if the doll can bring the daughter’s will to life, no one ever thought about having her use the doll to resurrect her deceased father? Seeing zombie dad would have greatly increased this movie’s horror element while also providing dramatic punch to the audience outside of bickering sisters and the stress of starting a new job. In the same token, when the daughter’s teacher unwillingly falls in love with her because of the doll’s spell, he’s nothing more than creepy and the threat of sexual assault is never on the table. Again, not that I’m championing assault, but it would have been an emotional tool to keep the viewer occupied. Instead, anyone who watched this on Lifetime saw a tiny, skinny doll with huge hands run around in a Puppet Master sort of way. It’s definitely more Puppet Master than Child’s Play, but then again, the killer doll never actually kills anyone. Sure, people are sliced up, injured, or mentally damaged in some way, but this movie has a body count of 0.

What’s also terrible about Killer Under the Bed is the fact that the Mean Girl at school drives a *PINK* Mustang. I’m offended by this. Speaking of the movie’s Mean Girl, I think Tunisha Hubbard would have been much better in this role, as I feel like she was more emotive, careless and calculated just by her facial expressions and body language. That’s a real actress, folks. And speaking of casting, boy do I love me some Kristy Swanson. She’s constantly on the news for her political believes, but you can’t deny the fact that she made her mark in pop culture history with starring roles in Big Daddy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dude Where’s My Car, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Flowers in the Attic and Pretty in Pink. I’ll tune in to see her in any movie that promises “horror.” With the addition of Chris Prascus, well, I’d give Killer Under the Bed a 10/10 for its hot teacher appeal alone. Yes, I am that shallow. I would purposely fail and get held back every year just to come to his class every day. Moving on now, Killer Under the Bed was produced by Ken Sanders, co-produced by Sheri Reeves and line produced by Christian Ackerman. It features cinematography by Brad Rushing and editing by Gregory Hobson. The entire cast and crew did a wonderful job with this movie, and there’s no complaints about performances and production value at all.

It’s just that Killer Under the Bed isn’t scary. The mystery aspect is pretty good, but the suspense is so low and no one ever dies. You really can’t have a scary movie without all of those elements being on point. Lifetime tried so hard with this one, but again, they fell flat for fear of alienating part of their key demographic. A movie about loss, the struggle to find peace, and the theme that you shouldn’t need to find strength through other people or things, Killer Under the Bed is a good movie, but it’s a lousy “horror movie.” Final Score: 5 out of 10.

Michael DeFellipo

(Senior Editor)

One Comment

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  1. i have never been more terrified in my entire life and i witness 9/11 first hand…. this movie had me change my pants atleast 7 times in one sitting… i think the doll is under my bed i need immediate assistance this is not a review this is cry for help

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