Director – Diq Diamond (Don’t Drink and Drive: A Family Film, The Bunker)
Starring – Leilani Ramos (Potluck with Smooch), Amy Jennings (Paranormal Sh!t, True Tales of Terror), and Shane Chisum (The Tattoo Club: Curse of the Dragon, Static)
Release Date – 2025
Rating – 1/5
I’ve seen a lot of movies over the years thanks to my connection with Horror Society. I’ve seen some of the wildest films imaginable with movies featuring living placentas, murderous condoms, gay bikers that create a fight club, bigfoot with an STD, and so on.
A few weeks back I received a press release for the surfing slasher Plankenstein. The film was released on Tubi and the team behind the indie horror film wanted to get the news out. I shared it on the site and decided to add it to my watch list. It looked fun and a movie that I could really enjoy.
**Spoiler Alert** The film follows a surfer, a cop, and the chief of police as they investigate a string of brutal murders along the beaches of popular surf spots. **Spoiler Alert**
I went into this expecting a lot of Frankenstein puns mixed with a lot of surfing. Instead, what I was greeted with was a move that felt like it was intentionally trying to annoy you. I made it maybe five minutes before I found myself wishing it would end. I hate being that way especially for an indie movie but this one was one of the hardest films to finish that I’ve reviewed in sometime.
The acting in this one is very stiff at time with flat dialogue. The cast seems to be having a lot of fun on set and that shows in a few scenes but the overall acting is fairly one dimensional.
The story for this one is a slasher meets island lore. I was expecting more a Frankenstein story with a surfing theme but what we get is a slasher that doesn’t really feel like one with some made up legend that doesn’t really pull the viewer in. The film feels like there is several decent enough ideas thrown out but none of them full builds up on them. Honestly, a patchwork surf board killing tourists would have been a much more entertaining film than what we have here.
Finally, don’t expect memorable deaths. We have some prop body parts and some blood but that is the extent the practical effects. We do have a few scenes with some horrible visual effects that stand out. The deaths are not memorable or imaginative but they do make good use of the practical props. Overall, Plankenstein is not the movie I was expecting. In fact, it was damn near impossible to finish. When I was putting my review together I saw a similar review on Letterboxd or imdb that said the film was “intentionally trying to piss off the viewer” and I somewhat agree with it. I wanted to like it but it was all over the place and held together with chewed gum and cheap tape. This is one you will want to skip.
