Review: Girls Gone Dead

I officially endorse, recommend, and support any horror film that uses “douche-canoe” in its dialogue.

Girls Gone Dead is a new horror-comedy filled with a nonstop assault of boobs. In this feature film, a group of young woman take the weekend off and head to a beautiful mansion in sunny Florida. Coincidentally, Crazy Girls Unlimited – a spoof of Girls Gone Wild – has set up location near the girl’s little get away. This causes the crazies to pop out of the woodwork and almost immediately a hammer-blade wielding maniac starts killing off every scantily clad woman in sight.

Girls Gone Dead stars Katie Peterson, Caley Hayes, Shea Stewart, Ryan Keely, and Brandy Whitford (Beware). It contains featured appearances by WWE’s Jerry Lawler, Beetlejuice (Scary Movie 2, “Howard Stern On Demand”), porn legend turned actor Ron Jeremy, original queen of scream Linnea Quigley, Shawn C. Phillips (Zombie Babies, Chillerama), Al Sapienza (“The Sopranos”, Lethal Weapon 4), and Nicko McBrain from Iron Maiden. The film was written by Meghan Jones, Ryan Dee, and Michael Hoffman Jr. and directed by Aaron T. Wells and Michael Hoffman Jr..

Ok, where do I begin with this one? Let’s start with the obvious.

This is definitely a man’s movie. The viewer doesn’t go for more than five minutes at a time without seeing bare breasts. But there is more here than meets the eye. The main five women, while being beautiful and sexy, are also pretty good actresses. I would say all of them pull in performances that are decent to above average. One of the characters, the Queen Bee of the girls, is so over the top in her mannerisms and the way she talks. This is probably the scariest thing about GGD – the fact that people like her actually exist!

The special FX are really fun, mostly due to the killer’s awesome choice of weapons. However, some of them are hit or miss. The opening sequence – in reference to special FX – is a big miss, but the FX seem to improve as the movie progresses with some pretty cool chops and injuries towards the end. GGD has a lot of gore to it and that will keep most blood and guts fans satisfied. I guess everyone will be satisfied with GGD. The movie is beautifully shot too.

GGD contains all of your usual horror clichés. The latest trend I’m noticing is the whole, “Let’s collect the cell phones and lock them up so no one interrupts us all weekend.” I saw this in a similar movie, Suicide Girls Must Die. Fortunately for Girls Gone Dead, it is so frickin’ entertaining that you won’t find yourself yelling at the screen in disbelief. But speaking on similar movies… I think Girls Gone Dead is a good mix of raunchy teen comedies like the direct-to-DVD American Pie movies and current trend of PG-13 horror films. While GGD is very modern, it still has slight hints of the old campy slasher films from the 80s.

Girls Gone Dead is currently available on DVD and for streaming on Amazon Instant Video. Go watch it…now! I promise you will not be disappointed as long as you keep in mind that this movie does not take itself too seriously.