The title and cover alone of this book is enough to judge the fuck out of it and say, “Yeah, I HAVE to read this.” If it doesn’t for you then…you may have bad taste ha!
This book is my first introduction into the mind of one Mr. Carlton Mellick III. This story is short and quick but doesn’t leave any unanswered questions. From the beginning, our main character is a man who declares his love for this quirky chic named Stacey. Stacey, for lack of a better term is rather harsh in her emotions and selfish in her endeavors and for whatever reason our guy falls for her and hard. Despite lack of sex and a terrifying phobia of Stacey’s vagina (rightfully so with noises, crying, and wailing coming from within the fleshy cave one can not blame him for his reservations)but when a skeleton decides to climb his way out of Stacey’s special place, she now convinces our sorry sap to climb inside her and take a look around. This is NOT an easy feat. Coming from a chick with a vagina, a normal one as far as I know, fisting is a hard enough sexual act, so after being lubed up, shaved down and shoved in, our lil buddy is on his way into the world that lives within Stacey (is final push in by Stacey reminded very much of the South Park episode with Paris Hilton…) I absolutely love the world inside her. The description Mellick gives of the village and the people is of warped awesomeness. The “imaginary” ghost girl of Stacey that resides within her exudes adorable childlike wonderment and her character is by far one of my favorites. She is simple and matter of fact in her actions and love for the main character. The main character however only wants to be released from within Stacey and out into her arms, but this is not to be. Once he is trapped by Fig, it is only a matter of time before he begins to change and become more like the creature of Fig. Eventually he returns Fig’s love after being left behind by Stacey. Their love grows and grows and he realizes that Stacey though he loved her, he now belongs with Fig and is happier with her than he was ever with Stacey. I am not a sappy person for the most part, and love stories are just shit to me, this story is the perfect love story if I were to ever fall in love with one (HA!)
Mellick’s explanation of how the world became to be is rather intriguing and oddly beautiful. His explanation for their existence can be summed on as an incredibly odd STD lol. I liked the story a lot, I fell in love with the cover art, and I am pleased to know this author has lots more work for me to delve into.
Carlton Mellick III has put out a lot of books! He is one of the leading author’s in bizarro and is well known through out the community. He is a writer at Bizarro Press and for more of his work visit him at:
A friend posted a link to one of Mellick’s books based on its WTF title… I went to it and saw some of the other books he’d written, and I *had* to try out at least a couple. Not knowing what to expect, I ordered “The Faggiest Vampire” (the link I had been sent, apparently a children’s book, whut?), and like you say, if you see the cover to “The Haunted Vagina”, you just have to get it! I also picked up “The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2”. What an introduction to this modern crowd of bizarre (yes, bizarro) writers! The Faggiest Vampire was quirky and definitely written in a “for kids” way and a little bit entertaining just because I hadn’t read anything quite like it. The Kobold Wizard’s D&D parody (I’m not even sure if that’s the right way to describe it), was very creative but deliberately bad both in style and in content (all written from the perspective of sheltered suburban asshole teenage gamers… nightmarish!). And then… The Haunted Vagina… I *love* this book! Like you say, it’s a love story, but turned inside out and upside down and more whaaaa? than awwww… some of the ideas are just so strange and surreal that they’ve been stuck in my head since I first read it a couple of years ago (not an easy thing for a book to do for me… so tip of my hat to Mr. Mellick for that!).
Most people only react to the title of the book and share it for pure shock value (which, admittedly, is fun to do), but there’s something about it that goes so much further than I would have thought possible (just in the way it was written). Thanks for posting a review, this really is one of my favourite books in many years, and I’m glad there are others out there appreciating it!