Lunch Ladies (Short Review)

What would Johnny do

Director – J. M. Logan (Family, The Garage Sale)
Starring – Donna Pieroni (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Married with Children), Mary Manofsky (Future Man, Saved by the Bell: The New Class), and Chris Fickley (Hamlet’s Ghost, La Mesa)
Release Date – 2017
Rating – 4/5

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched a good short.  I’ve seen several awesome movies lately but that winning streak ended with The Night Shift which was a huge let down.  I needed something to get me back in the groove when I crossed paths with the Facebook page for the horror comedy Lunch Ladies.

This looked like just the film I needed to wash the bad taste of The Night Shift out of my mouth.  I reached out to the page where I met writer and producer Clarissa Jacobson.  This hardworking and dedicated young woman was kind enough to let Horror Society and myself check out this amazing short.  Thank you Clarissa!

**Spoiler Alert** The film follows sisters Seretta (Pieroni) and LouAnne (Manofsky) who are down on their luck school lunch ladies who just won a contest hosted by Johnny Depp.  As they prepare for their trip to the event they are struck with more misfortune when the principal threatens to let them go if they can’t provide a tasty school lunch.

Their string of bad luck finds Seretta in the restroom when she is confronted by a bitchy cheerleader and she snaps.  She kills her and decide to use her body as an ingredient in tomorrow school lunch…which was a hit among the students and faculty.**Spoiler Alert**

Lunch Ladies is one of those films where you know you are going to enjoy yourself.  The trailer and posters for the film just capture what the film is perfectly and is a great representation of what the viewer is about to watch.

The acting in this is phenomenal.  We are only in January but I can see this short holding my vote for best acted film for the year.  The characters are beautifully written and Pieroni and Manofsky does an amazing job at bringing the sisters to life.  They are colorful at times and, much like an animal backed in a corner, they can be deadly if need be to survive.  The supporting cast is perfect as well but the film’s focus is on these lovely ladies and they absolutely nail their performance.

The story for this one is simple but the film adds more to it than just the story.  The lunch ladies killing and feeding students to other students is almost a parody of Sweeney Todd.  This is known throughout the film and even acknowledged at one point which was fantastic.  The film has light humor scattered throughout that really makes this bloody short stand out.  The film also tosses in aspects from other films that would be associated with Johnny Depp.

For one, the film is full if beautiful shots.  The cinematography is beautiful and reminds me a lot of some of the films of John Waters mixed with the early films of the Coen Brothers.  Depp and Waters collaborated on the film Crybaby together so this is only fitting.  The characters and score reminds me a lot of the early works of Tim Burton which is another frequent collaborator of Depp’s.  The love for Depp runs deep in this short and that really adds to the charm.

Finally, the film gets gruesome in the final moments.  We have one kill and it takes place off screen but the film makes up for it by allowing the viewer watch as the cooks dismember the body.  The practical effects look amazing and incorporating real meat in the preparation of the school lunch made it cringe worthy.  Overall, Lunch Ladies is a mother fucking masterpiece.  This being a short is a crime against humanity and a feature needs to be made. This short is fucking perfect and the world needs more.


(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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